the intricate and narcissistic

2009-03-02T20:29:00.004+08:00

come and go.

its been a long time since i last blogged. don't know y. juz felt that whatever i had to say was not important nor did it make any sense. juz like the many things in my life. i go through them, but do they really make any sense to me? or to the people around me?

was feeling more and more nostalgic as i scrolled down the previous blog posts that read the different parts of my past. the amazing taiwan company trip with my marketing team. the sweetsweet boy who worked his way into what was left of my heart. the sucky and sweet of the previous r/s. the passing of the strongest and sweetest girl i have ever met.

the parts that make up the ven now. the growing up that was forced into me. certain decisions had to be made. and whatever happens. I made them. they will shape the future ven. all i can do is. wait and see.

2008-12-23T17:40:00.017+08:00

the fruits of his, very hard, labour.

im proud of him. juz proud. before this concert put up by UAN, the biggest local artiste network in spore. i was actually not very happy that the bf had to constantly go for sessions after sessions of rehersals for the concert.

even thou he was constantly puttin in effort to come over my place after his rehersals and then send me to work the following day. i was juz blinded to his efforts by the lack of time he had with me even thou i knew i had to be the supportive gf. it wasnt easy.

anws juz wanted to blog this up as a memory. of trying times. but trying times always ends. know that. =)

his opening dance costume.

huge thank you to the frens who came to support. =)

the opening dance.

the trio dance.

the solo item, singing "its my life".

the boyband, singing "lian ai-I.N.G" by wu yue tian.

the final dance.

next up! Xmas in HK! =)

2008-11-08T14:11:00.003+08:00

too many coincidences.

it's funny how many say that some things are meant to be? ie: fated? and its funny how i thought my relationship with my ex was - fated? the story of how i met my ex at a club one nite due to a fren's fren's fren. and how i was kinda involved in a "triangle" where his very gd fren liked me but i like my ex, n my ex, stayed away because he knew his fren liked me.

i tot all these were meant to be. ah. until he broke my heart, again and again and again and the list goes on. well, i guess no matter how much you've been through with a person or how much you give up or give to a person. it means zilch the minute he/she decides not to be faithful to you and only you.

i never mentioned or spoke much about wat happened with the ex and how i got together with my current. let's just say that yes, initially when i got tog with my current and said yes to being his gf, i cried, like a baby. a large part of it due to the fact that i never, i repeat, never tot that i could ever be with somebody else other then the ex that i loved so much.

the current was a fren from 3 years back. we had lost contact for long. and 3 yrs back he was kinda "involved" with my gd girlfren at that time. 3 yrs later, i was at my shiseido atrium tampine mall promotion and i bumped into him. we said our hellos and byes and i tot that was that. 2 mins later, i felt a tap on my shoulder, he asked for my number. the story started there.

the getting together part was kinda like a whirlwind. it was as if my life was a drama. i had met somebody new. but i was stil in love with the ex. the new treated me amazing. the old, i had so many memories with. the new was fresh, exciting and promising. the old, it was familiar and a habit. i was stuck in the worst position. someone new - whom i knew nothing about and was taking a huge risky step forward. or the old, someone whom i knew almost everythin about and was ALSO taking a huge risky step back.

well i guess by now, you know the story.too much shit happened with the ex during and even after the breakup that i couldn bring myself to trust him again.

even till today, yes even though sometimes i would think of the ex and ask myself what if? but i had never regretted my decision to be with my current because he is too nice. too amazing.

the coincidences between me n my current are too damn many and till today they are stil unveiling.

1) our exes broke up with us around the same time
2) they are older then us (yes my current was dating someone 2 yrs older)
3) the exes both had someone in their family that passed away due to cancer and ard the same time
4) the exes were not very faithful! my bf's ex is now i think bout 6months pregnant and married to another guy
5) his ex is naming her babyboy - jaydEn. which so blardy coincidentally is the name that my ex choose for himself, only that his name is jaydOn. pls kill me.
6) and the most recent shock i got is that - my colleague of 2 yrs is actually a secondary school classmate of 4 yrs with my bf's pregnant ex and they are meeting up today after 12yrs!

i blardy hell hope the coincidences stop at 6 pleasethankyouverymuch! i REALLY do NOT needa any more coincidences that remind me of the exes. blurgh.

2008-10-01T19:17:00.004+08:00

ven - the very amateur driver!!

i cant believe the road to getting a license has been so smooth for me.

i still remember juz a few months back when private instructor 1 (i had 2 instructors - 1 when ur a beginner and 1 when ur more advanced ready for the circuit) told me to hit the roads on my first day of lesson. having had absolutely contact behind the wheels, i was freaked. anwhows i didnt die. cant believe i made it through the hour n half long lesson when i didnt even know how to tel if my car was positioned within e lane.

wat i took away from PR1's teaching was that, he was a farking pervert! an old pervert! he would tel me things like, oh ur already slim enuff, no needa lose anymore weight la, you dunno ah, like u abit ba ba (meaning meaty) then shiok!!? yes he used the word shiok! i endured the next 3months of him askin me bout my sex life, telling me bout girl's bodies and how i needed to look to be hot.

i dint change an instructor because i knew i was changin to e more advanced instructor (which i would later find to be the boss of PR1 after i blabbed to him about the pervertic ways of PR1) which i hoped would not be perverted AT ALL.

turns out private instructor 2 is a pretty decent person. after onli 2months with him. he thought me things tt i could nv learn from lazy pervert PR1. now that i think back, i actually feel a sense of nostalgia. i dunno y but somehow i do kinda miss his teaching, guidance and patience.

also turned out that PR2 has the highest percentage of students passing at first try out of all the private instructors. i can intro him to you if you would like. well. if you feel tt you can endure the verbal "sexual" harrassment of PR1 though. hahh.

my colleague was the one who intro-ed me to PR1 and PR2. however when i asked her bout the pervert, she say she dint get ANY form of harrassment at all. mm. i guess it's ME then huh. dunno y, maybe i look like im too open. mm.

anws im juz glad that i passed on first attempt. got like 8 demerit points. all points for things like sharp turn, incorrect checking of blind spot (cos i turn my body too much!) and failure to check danger before i do a parallel parking. wahlan all these things i remember i dint make much of a mistake of, juz die die wan to give me demerit points lo!

anywhos life's sweet at the moment and im just taking every little detail as they come along. appreciation is key! =)

the woman who intro-ed me my pervert instructor - ah heng!

just some damn-long-ago random pics with the bf.

the very gorgeous Scarlett Hotel bday treat!

Guangzhou trip!

my fashion stylist.

spot the mistake!

even nicer then ANY char kway tiao ive had in spore can!

my hair stylist!

the night safari day!

more randoms.

the bf 2yrs back

2008-09-14T22:46:00.005+08:00

i've recently realized the importance of money.

no. i was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. i mean i'm not rich but yet i've always never had the problem of not having cash in my bank account.

well i guess the root of this money problem all started with an Agnes B black patent bag that i got in hk few months back. since then, the Agnes B bags have somehow multiplied to become FOUR, plus Kate Spade wallet and a namecard holder PLUS a Burberry BlueLabel bag. Sounds like nothing you say? well fark, i'm up to my armpits with debts totalling up to almost 4k!!

how the fark did i get myself in such shite you ask? HAH! vanity and being a slut for brands. well i could blame the beauty industry, or i could blame it on the growing age, or i could just simply blame MYSELF.

i used to HATE owing pple money, especially the member of the opposite sex. i've always tot that men and women are equal. let's just say that, i still insist that man and woman are equal, just not monetarily at the moment. i need help! quick money anyone??

the boyfriend has been a huge help. juz wanna say thank you for the 39684762638538th time!

2008-08-06T23:59:00.003+08:00

the nostalgic nights in tokyo.

sittin in the dark in fronta the com tryin to type as softly as possible so tt i wont wake my pregnant sleepin boss.

its weird tt im feeling these emotions the whole time im here. a colleague's laughter, the sound of runnin water, the smell of lamb rack, or just sitting doin nothin at all triggers off that emo mofo squeeze on the heart.

one thing i noticed here is that japanese women are very independent. at restaurants that we dine at, we saw mainly groups of well dressed ladies sipping their champagne and savouring different types of cheese. i think i haf only like seen 10 couples since i got here 3 days ago. its weird. the men are prob out drinkin w their male counterparts and eating teppanyaki.

my hot pregnant boss kept gettin weird stares from pple here esp guys. girls tend to shy their glances away. i've also onli seen like ONE pregnant lady on the streets since i got here. pregnancy is like sucha taboo thing for some reason. weird.

anws im looking forward to goin to burberry bluelabel tt is onli available in japan tml. even thou i know i wont get anythin from there. juz doesnt suit me.

went crazy at agnes b and bought THREE bags but for onli 600sing! 2 of them onli available in japan! bought quite a few stuff that are cheaper here like bape and porter for the boy back home. im a happy person!

my colleagues were rite, i WILL go crazy in japan. oh man. everythin is so advanced and has soooo much variety that you cant help but spend 2 hours at JUST a drugstore! i FARKIN love the toilets!!!

pics to be up soon, you will know wat i mean. my hands still feel raw from carryin the huge shopping bags from tt ONE day of shoppin. journalists that we brought over had to take turns helpin me carry the fark heavy bags. sori and thank you guys!

anws on a random note (yes im damn random!), the saying "a leopard never changes its spots" is damn true. some things never change, and never will change.

change is the onli constant? i beg to differ.

2008-08-03T23:09:00.006+08:00

im just counting my blessings

so much have changed. anws ive learnt so much and i think what is most important is to just appreciate all around you and know that everything really does happen for a reason. what matters is that you see what is important to you and cherish it. whatever happens, just take it with a smile. its juz life. live it.

thank you love, for everything. i'll be back before you know it. wait up k? =)

2008-06-12T10:36:00.000+08:00

2008-05-23T14:17:00.004+08:00

college done by fellow colleague ah lim, the charbo in the pictureess with the lonnggg wavy hair! day 3 coming up soon! =) you hafta click to view cos as ah lim said, blogger does not have some program to view the file big, onli can view thumbnails. thx ah lim!

2008-05-02T14:16:00.020+08:00

you don't need me, i don't need you.

im tired. i give up. finally. and certain things are betta left the way it is.

anws juz some random pics from the company's taiwan trip! and that one very memorable night with my Japanese guest. =)

life is busy peasy! taking drivin lessons as well as jap classes. good!

2008-04-13T10:17:00.001+08:00

the confessions of a broken heart

i always tot you were the one.
but apparently i was wrong. so wrong.
i always tot tt if both parties were willing to put in effort to make a r/s work, it WILL work.
u know i never believed in the saying, "our characters are not compatible". i never did.
i really tot tt in a r/s it s all about accommodation and getting used to and accepting each other's habits/flaws
willingness to change for someone you love is something tt i used to think came about when you really care for the person and dun wana hurt him/her
maybe im not someone tt u are willing to change for. maybe im not someone u wan to spend your life with. maybe im not someone you will be willing to love and care for wholeheartedly. maybe im not someone tt is in ur heart anymore.
watever it is.
im done begging.
im done throwing my pride away.
they say if a guy really loves you he will come back for you.
in my case, i really doubt so. we shall see.
the girl tt will come after me.
she has damn big shoes to fill.

2008-03-23T12:43:00.002+08:00

im farkin tired.

certain decisions need to be made but yet im not strong enuff to carry them thro. i need to know if these feelings are true. i need to feel needed. i need to know if there will be another major lie up ahead. i dun think i can do this anymore but yet i wan to. for the simple reason tt i wan to spend the rest of my life with u.

to you: if you are reading this. i wan to say. i hope you rem when u said u will not give up easily on us. i hope you rem tt time when i panned ur surprise bday for you. i hope you rem tt time when i did a puzzle of us for you. i hope you rem the time when i went "undercover" to LTA just to help you. i hope you rem the countless times when i was always there for you. taking care of you. i hope you rem wat ur sis said bout me. i hope you rem. us.

2008-01-29T13:35:00.000+08:00

work = a drag

everyday at work im juz looking forward to it being friday. help!
ooo a colleague's $3000 Burberry bag given to her by her bastard ex bf. the ex, i hate. the bag, i like!

went to get feet bitten by "long-gang" fishes during the weekend. apparently they EAT your dead skin.

muz disinfect your feet before you get in....

the fishhhh pool!

i know, eeee rite.

FYI, it was farkin ticklish laaaa. n pretty gross feelin la. feet after tt. hmm not too bad. smoooottthhhh.

i need a farkin holiday!

2008-01-23T11:31:00.000+08:00

i am not hot meh.

blast from the past.
a guy fren whom i was pretty close to once told me that i was not sexually attractive.
at that moment i felt as though i had shrunk to the size of an ant due to the utmost embarrassment i was feeling.
i then proceeded to ask him wat defines sexually attractive.
he said, there is no hard and fast rule leh, juz tt ur not lor.
the reason why i felt so humiliated was because this guy who had juz belittled me was the guy i kinda had feelings for
on top of that, he wasnt exactly vogue material, in fact, he's not even leaflet material.
and the fact tt i was ready to overcome the physical barrier (yes looks are impt to me cant deny tt) and consider a possibility w him,
made me feel really stupid for being so "nice".

i bumped into tt guy some time ago. and after he sms-ed me: " looking great babe, better then before, you lost weight huh? been exercising like i told you last time. keep up the gd work!"
at tt moment, it seemed to me as thou
sexually attractive = skinny/slim/not fat/not curvy
juz when i tot tt im outta sch days and tt guys haf grown more matured
i dun hafta face all these mindless personal insults anymore.
im once again proven wrong.

another guy once told me that if i looked like avril lavigne he would like me.
like hello, IF you looked like brad pitt i will marry u and fark u everyday, twice!
one more guy told me that if i lost some weight i would look damn hot.
like y muz you define hotness = body. face cannot meh.
note: both were guys tt i used to like.

seriously, a guy can point and pick flaws from a girl.
i can also do tt okie! like ta ma de your blardy balls look damn ugly can.
or wah lao y got no defined chest ah! or eh damn small leh the size of ur ahem.
or eh u balding isit ah? or hello ur skin damn rough n bad leh.
or ur leg hair is a turn off. or eh u damn smelly leh.

actually, i am pretty sick of all these stupid personal attacks and comments on telling OTHER pple wat to do with themselves
e opp sex betta shuddup cos we re built differently and pple of the same sex, pls take care of YOURSELF first before wanting to advice other pple.
DO NOT TEL ME WAT TO DO WITH MYSELF. I will make the decisions. not you.

as such, i haf decided to act try out a couple of sessions of certain body treatments at a plastic surgeon tt i will be collaborating with for work purposes. in an attempt to be 'hot'.

i hope i bump into you, you, you and you in the streets and make you eat your words assholes!

2008-01-18T10:24:00.000+08:00

Got this site from a fren's blog. Really Accurate. Try it pple.

http://www.goldinuniverse.com

And this is my reading from the site:

You are constantly hoping that your good fellowship and attitude and your 'love for your fellow man (or women)' will give you peace of mind. You need people - people around you to care for you and to show you that they care. It is this hope that keeps you going, the hope that makes you the type of person that indeed you are. Your own need for approval seemingly makes you always ready to help others and in exchange you seek love, warmth and understanding. You will always listen to others and you are open to new ideas which hopefully will prove fruitful and interesting.

At this time you 'need to be needed' and again you 'need to need'. You have had this feeling for some time now and you are looking for someone who could share a close bond in an atmosphere of shared intimacy. You have the belief that with the right person you could conquer the world.

All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.

You are feeling trapped by the situation as it stands at this time and what is more, you feel powerless to remedy it. You are stressful, angry and disgruntled. You feel that everything that you try to do to change the situation is thwarted and your hopes and aspirations all seem to be receding into the ever distant future. You have reached the state where you now doubt whether your dreams will ever be achieved and this is not only causing mental stress but heartache. You need to get away from it all - you need to have time to think, to recuperate, to be able to make your own decisions.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

2008-01-07T13:59:00.000+08:00

IM HOTTTTT!!!! cos.... the office air con has been down for the whole day!!!! can i pls die seriously! alrdy took off my overall and am down to the LAST piece (cept bra n undies la duh). heellppppp....

anws went outta the office at 12pm SHARP to do some shopping and i bought my FIRST pair of birkiessss - in patent black!!! wheeee. wanted to get the patent royal blue and red as well but dun haveeeee. so im gonna do some shopping online for them! =)

my little blacky baby!

2007-12-26T16:11:00.000+08:00

its almost 5pm, an hour till work ends and i hardly did any work. seems like im still in the xmas/holiday/party/slack mood. but its all gd, cept tt im having a post xmas pimple outbreak!! arghhh. no more damn late nites for me, well, at least till new yrs eve! =)

anws pics up!

Genting trip with the girls, to catch jolin in concert, which turned outta be a huge disappointment! Anyhows Thx to elaine's dad for driving us up and stoppin along the way for gd foooooddd.

this was the closest we got to jolin. and the large screens were blur. it was juz crappy la the whole concert.

lets do it again girls! this time more casino pls! haha so tt we can WIN at the BIG/SMALL table! n me win at my jackpot thingy.

sec sch gathering at east coast! great to see pple whom ive nv seen in ages!

1,2,3 and 4

juz a random pic.

xmas eve 2007.

dinner buffet at carnivore - amazing ribeye steak and chicken heart (yes i love this)!

cafe del mar

2007-12-11T09:47:00.001+08:00

my heart, its hurts

2007-11-20T20:50:00.000+08:00

Dear Sir/Madam,

cc: stforum, zaobao, CASE, the heeren management

i am writing with regards to a very unpleasant experience at Mimi Momo (Trendy Zone) - The Heeren #04-28/29.

I bought a pair of heels last friday and reserved another one the same time. I was very happy with my purchases and immediately wore it to work on Monday, 19 Nov. Of course, i changed to my comfy pair of slippers once i reached work. When it was lunch time, i headed across the road for lunch, but before i could reach my lunch venue, the left heel broke.

I limped with the help my colleagues to heeren in the hope of picking up the reserved pair so i could change into it while getting the current pair repaired. When i reached mimi momo, the pair that i had reserved is defective (left and right were of different cutting and design).

While I was willing to wait for a new pair, the sales assistant disappointed me further by informing me that they had stopped production. Her first reaction was to ask me to purchase another pair, but that was my 3rd pair from that shop for the month, no other designs appealed to me. Finally after calling her supervisor, they refunded me the amount of money for that defective pair of heels.

Regarding my current pair of heels that broke, the sales assistant told me that she had to send it back to the warehouse in order for them to evaluate the problem and then decide if they should have it repaired or replaced.

The main problem was not whether the heels were defective or not, it was rather the fact that it was raining and i didn't have any shoes to return to the office and followed by an important meeting. Of course I know it was beyond the call of the sales assistant and I did not want to make things difficult for her, so I requested to speak to her immediate supervisor.

What's worse was after I spoke to the supervisor at Far East, Mr Tay. Let's just cut the story short, Mr Tay's conclusion was that because that pair of heels at his shop was merely $29.90 and not a branded label of $400 or $500, there's nothing he can do about it. No constructive solutions were presented to me. All the other solutions given to me were, to get another pair or to walk back to the office in that defected pair and get my colleagues to walk back and return the heels.

I would have loved to hop to a nearby shop like Havianas to get another cheaper alternative, like Mr Tay suggested. However, that is just not the dresscode for me, a Marketing Executive.

Well, if Going the Extra Mile (GEMS) to deliver excellent service is what the government is preaching, then I think this shop is very far from attaining this goal. And all we need is a black sheep to let important delegates of international conferences held in Singapore, tourists, and consumers like you and me to have a very bad impression of the customer service in Singapore.

Of course, I played my part as a customer to practice GEMS by smiling and saying thank you to the sales assistant as I left the store.

Cheers.
V.

2007-10-26T15:17:00.000+08:00

I haven't eaten solid food in the past 27 hours and 18 mins and my body is okie with it.

2007-10-23T14:47:00.000+08:00

my new obsession!

i got myself a little treat tt came with the price tag of $435 (in total - like psp, sd card, some screen protector, 1 game!) in order to cheer myself up. my baby blue shimmery psp!! whee! e shop person said tt this slim new psp has onli been launched in Japan for 2 weeks! was comtemplatin btw baby purple and baby blue, loved the purple but frens said it wasnt me so it was baby blue for me!

2007-10-22T20:29:00.000+08:00

its hard to differentiate btw truth and lie nw. things seem so blurry i juz dunno rite from wrong anymore. my vision is dying on me. i cant see clearly anymore. i juz wana sleep. and not wake up.

2007-09-27T20:54:00.000+08:00

The Hong Kong Story

the tired us at 4am.

the mtr nearest to our hotel - Newton hotel

ferry to tsimshatsui.

erm, the dresses i act bought for the shiseido girlies n myself BUT sorry! i decided tt i loved them too much to give away. SORRY! i hope the krispy kreme n disneyland keychain made up for it girls! =)

n erm i wore one dress immediately!

8 plates of the huge portion of steamboat is TOO much!

the bf who washed my underwear and he mentioned tt it was his first time so of cos i HAD to capture tt moment down. muacks!

yes we climbed all the way up to the buddha statue becos the bf wanted to enter the buddha's stomach. sigh.

the bf who took 10,001 pictures of the statue which im not gonna show of cos.

DISNEYLAND!!!

it was raining heavily when we arrived but lucky the rain stopped in an hour's time!

the disney train!

the snoopy lookalike fire hydrant.

the plastic glove served with the food. clever!

me driving! whee.

does he look like one of them? haha

The wax museum

my bf n his fav aaron kwok.

erm...

can taller a bit not ah u yao ming!

i made him do this! haha! he is so gonna kill me when he sees this here.

im taller then kylie minogue (and she was in heels can!)

yes so now u know my height! sigh.

n my bf's. haha

_|_

some guy from china.

can u tel its maculey caukin (dunno how to spell n too tired to check out his name)

haha JER i took this cos i know u like lilo.. or isit tt stitch?!? hmm.

the view from the peak.

goin homeee.. the bf n his attempts to do a sad face. hmm. tt s fierce la can!

2007-09-19T21:11:00.000+08:00

do you sometimes feel so angry tt you just want to hurt urself? i do.
do you sometimes cry so hard till you cant breathe? i do.
do you sometimes mind fark urself till you cant sleep. i do.
do you sometimes hate ur bf's materialistic ex so much u wish they nv met. i do
do you sometimes slip n fall in fronta a crowd and u wished u were invisible. i do.
do you sometimes talk to yourself when ur all alone. i do.

im not perfect, nobody is, n nobody will ever be. Few days ago, I lost it. I lost my sanity and sent an sms to e bf's fling. till today, if you ask me, im not sori i did tt. it was bitter sweet. sweet in the sense tt i act told (im sure pple must haf told her b4) her tt my bf had seen thro her materialistic ways and asked her to stop contactin my bf. bitter becos im tired from being the jealous, over protective, impulsive, crazy gf to my bf.

i lost it maybe becos i had been tolerating her manipulative and slutty nature ever since i started this r/s. i dunno how she can tel my bf tt many guys like her but she doesnt like them. hmm.. maybe cos none of them are rich nor dumb enuff for you? i seriously dunno how such a arrogant and disgusting creature can suffice in planet earth. she uses sex as a tool to get wat she wans and plays guys as if they are the fool. well maybe they really are.

i want to tel this girl. GET THE FARK AWAY FROM MY BF YOU CUNNING SLUT. I have had enuff of you calling him, gettin him out to meet u behind my back, enuff of you chatting w him on msn, i have had enuff.

Now few of you might be thinkin tt i am siding with my bf simply becos it takes 2 to clap. I am, of cos, fully aware of this fact. I think, and haf alrdy done so, tt its time to finally put my foot down and lay the rules out on the table. every phone cal/msn/sms/frenster msg/email tt goes on, i w know about it.and of cos vice versa from me as well. if anyone finds something done behind the other's back, the r/s is over. period.

my bf promised to stop all contact w her (and another one, yes there is another one) since eons ago. but they keep calling. there has to been a reason y. n im set to find tt out.

cal me the crazy bitch if you may, i w try my best to protect my r/s til e day i feel too tired to do so and the feeling is not mutual anymore. Til tt day, I promise to give all i can to my current r/s, to exhaust every chance given possible and love the best i can. n if we decide to end it one day, it will be without regrets.

I hope the hk trip this sun does us gd.

2007-09-15T15:19:00.001+08:00

and some pple have absolutely no idea wat modesty is.

modesty - the quality of being modest; freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc.

if you are guilty of this, read the above and reflect. PLEASE!

okie I am so angry becos recently my gd fren since secondary sch has been calling me to complain about a certain someone who, juz becos has had "some" changes in her life, feels that she's all tt. when in actual fact, quoting another gd fren, "oh pls she juz looks like a maid who shops at giordano, clothes and makeup can onli bring u so far, she stil needs plastic surgery!"

I dunno why some pple can be so blardy arrogant when the pple ard her, who are obviously betta lookin and soooo much hotter dun say nothin about the pple around them.

if YOU feel tt you are hot and look gd, think again. or maybe a mirror would do you gd.

anws, on a much brighter note. so much has been happening but with sooo little time to blog. here's a random array of pics!

Za's 10th Anni Press Party.

the host - Max Loong

Me! as his escort for the day!

Photoshop pic curtosy of ZAD!! THANK YOU so much for all your help babe!

The completed piece. I realized the color is not the same, the lady who did this for me at far east is rude as well as incompetent.

the bf tryin to complete the jigsaw at 2am in the morn so tt he can go to bed. =)

DKNY watch for the bf!

erm re-enacted pose at the NUYOU mag photoshoot. only diff is tt my hair was tied up, my clothes were Burberry sponsored and I was damn stiff in fronta the cam. All factors add up to the style and hair being so not me and thus to the pic being a disaster. If it looks gd, I might publish it. watch this space. =)

ps: everything u see me wearin (well except the necklace n bangle) is cheryl's!!! I loved her Queen's Couture jeans so much i bought it from her! thank u for allowin me to come over n mess up ur rm babe! owe u!

2007-09-04T21:40:00.000+08:00

The ex fling / bitch

I was rudely shaken by a high pitch screaming in my ear as i answered my phone just 10 mins ago.

Person: AHHH! I SAW UR BF'S EX FLING ON TVVVVV NWWW!!
Me: speechless
Person: GO SEE CH 8 NOWWWWW

Wat i saw next really triggered my upchuck reflexes to the max, i felt like slitting my wrists (BOTH!) with a BLUNT pencil. The materialistic thing i hated most was "acting" (or least wat she felt like she was doin) (with NO lines mind u) as a hostess for the main actor to hug.

well at least my frens tried to comfort me by saying things like ah she looks like hossan leong la, she s juz another skinny girl in tank top la, oh juz hostess can with NO lines, aiya usually start out like this means no hope liao la, hostess leh! and the best one is," she's juz portraying her actual self on tv".

The icing on the cake came when the bf's own sister who personally knew tt thing on tv said, " eewww so disgusting, i will spread her "good" doings to other pple if she really becomes an actress."

the thing was really the LAST thing i wanted to see before i went to bed after a longgg day at work. and the BEST BEST BESTEST icing on the cake was ah. even betta then the reply from the sis was that........ my bf......... juz....... laughed.

I really dunno wat defines funny anymore.

Pls shoot me.

2007-08-27T12:07:00.000+08:00

mindfarked.

you know how sometimes there are some things u juz WANT to find out, even thou u are very aware tt after u know the ans it will kill u? well, nw it is eating me alive and there is no way i can convince myself tt the present IS the present and the past dun matter! i soooo wana move on n stop thinkin about it!!!

On a lighter note, after two days, 17 hrs, 1,020mins and 61,200 seconds of yawn-inducing photoshop classes. im finally a photoshop grad w a CERT! whee. but im stil no expert la! haha stil might need ur help at times ah ZAD!

Love = being stupid with each other.

2007-08-10T09:41:00.000+08:00

nothing is certain anymore. and i hate that.

2007-07-30T09:23:00.000+08:00

the limit - dun push it

disappointments after quarrels and quarrels after disappointments. over and over again. its a vicious cycle. how much is too much? when is it finally enuff? how far before the limit is reached? will it be too late then?

i understand tt at this pt in time u are tired and lost, with the shit tt is goin on ard u. i am tryin my best to be there for u without being selfish and to be the best support u can get. sometimes before u do certain things pls try to think in my shoes juz like i try to think in urs.

i hate to be a nag, but sometimes things tt ive repeated thousands of times resurfaces again because u say tt it is "you" and so, i accept tt. promises made, promises broken. the past haunts, the present is threatened.

u know wat i like and dislike, betta then anyone else. you say u know, and yet u disappoint time n time again. maybe the prob lies with me, maybe im too young, too immature, too wilful, too demanding, too unreasonable, too much for u. u always give in to me. makes me feel as thou im always the one creatin all the trouble. maybe i am?

at hard times like this, all we can do is pray. pray for things to go back to how they were. pray for her, pray for us.

dun forget about us.

2007-07-01T20:03:00.000+08:00

today i visited my bf's sis in ttsh again for the 5th day in a row. for those who dun know yet, she has been admitted again, this time finding 2 malignant tumours growing on her brain. the cause of them, even the docs dun know.

wat was sad about today was tt, she asked me to bring camera and draw her eyebrows for her so she could look betta in photos. my bf was at work so i was there w her and a few frens. she drew the "curtains" ard her so i could do her makeup for her.

in tt 10 mins of alone time w her, i felt closer to her then i ever had, even after her last op. wat made it so sad was tt she did say tt this was the first n last time she can have makeup on. my heart fell, i felt like cryin. but of cos not in front of her.

the docs at ttsh are goin to remove the bigger tumour on her rite brain and leave the smaller, more dangerous one tt is closer to her brain in there. i duno if they are gonna remove tt by chemo or wat. but i juz hope tt she ll come outta the op safe.

nothin is more impt then health. everyone who cares will be prayin for u. pls. juz. survive. dun forget u promised for us to go on a holiday w ur family when ur well!

2007-06-26T21:28:00.000+08:00

I dunno how true this is but check out the link below. My boss told me this story and apparently this malay girl kicked the Quran in her rm because she was pissed w her mum who was praying in the living rm n she turned into the following. They named it the stingray but check it out for urself. Turn up the music to hear malay prayers going on in the backgrd. Note: Not for the weak hearted!

http://youtube.com./watch?v=QNR7Zf3VWto

2007-06-22T20:30:00.001+08:00

Too many pictures, too little time. Therefore the following pics are up in random.

Turned 22/ Romantic bday cel by the bf (cable car dining)/ Shiseido hair & makeup model at an event when Japanese artists were invited to spore (hence the new hairdo u see)/ Ettusais press party

Anws the 22th bday came and went by too quickly. Looking back at the past year, it has been pretty much smooth and i am thankful tt. A huge thank u to all those tt gave presents/cel w me/treated me to dinner/sms-ed/ called/sent testimonials and bothered.

2007-05-31T23:06:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel emotions tt i dun wan to feel. emotions like hate, jealousy & inferiority. I hate it when pple i love are made used of by materialistic bitches who exchange sex for physical things. I feel a tinge of jealousy when sometimes i fail to achieve wat i wan to but others can. Inferiority hits when pple tel me things like "i think its time for u to lose some weight" or "u dun have long enuff legs to carry off a pair of jeans".

someone i respect once told me. control what u CAN. like ur emotions and actions. do not make urself miserable by tryin to control things tt u CANT. like other pple's tots/ actions/ perception/ tone/ way they treat u.

i am still learning to.

2007-05-28T21:15:00.001+08:00

Its been a longggg time since i uploaded this many pictures. well. juz felt like it today since i can finally sit down in fronta my laptop at home n chill. well. here's them!

check out wat my bf got me from taiwan. erm i REALLY tot they were sanitary pads okie!

choc plaster

B-iagra

conndommm!

cute hor! the works of the bf.

my favourite dimpleee in the whole worldd!

aanggg jee jeee...

awwww..

2007-05-22T12:04:00.000+08:00

karma.

somebody pissed/took me for granted/looked down on me today. my fren told me she is going church this fri. I told her pls help me pray tt that farker gets her retribution. i tot about it. oh wait. e asshole has ALRDY gotten her retribution. Juz look at the way the ugly n old thing turned out.

when someone hurts/despises/looks down on u ,always tel urself its okie at least ur younger/prettier/cuter/more capable/... than the other party.

pls note that the above onli applies when ur hotter then the other party, if not then lanlan lo.

anws pls visit the following to help out my colleague! Thx loadss.

Ettusais Evening Special
http://www.ettusais.sg/on%20the%20spot/Isetan_stores.htm

Ettusais Cableski Event
http://www.ettusais.sg/on%20the%20spot/Beauty_Workshops.htm

2007-05-18T09:20:00.000+08:00

Life has been farking monotonous recently. Dun really know wat to blog about since i have nothin interested to say. seems like im becoming more n more jaded. oh wells. tt s y this is called life huh. 2 pics from an event at st james last nite. more pics to upload soon.

Presenting.. Ven-the yellow BA-lloon. You can see y from the 2nd pic.

The Shiseido girliess!

I was walking around vivocity lookin like a yellow BA-lloon, BUT tel u ah, some things NEVER change- grp of MATS checked me out can! n by checked i mean like whisper whisper, talk talk, turn heads and smile.
Ven, you still have IT even thou you look like a yellow ba-lloon.

2007-05-17T09:07:00.000+08:00

what do you do when people disappoint and feelings fade?

2007-05-07T18:56:00.000+08:00

Today is the one week anniversary of me having diarrhoea 6-7 times every single day for that week.
Today i weighed myself and found tt i lost 2 kg. Lighter then ive even been for the past 6 years.
Today i had to shit into a bottle slightly bigger then a test tube for a stool test.
'nuff said.

when i was healthier.

2007-04-24T12:03:00.000+08:00

Fashion accident.

I spotted the back view of this lanky slim lady in office wear at the somerset mrt station this morn on my way to work. I was seriously impressed with the way the clothes fitted and flattered her lean physique. Her dark grey top with a black waited belt and fitting A-line skirt combined with her chic straight black bob was juz pulling all the jealous glares from girls and lusty looks from guys.

I tell you ah, in my mind i was secretly thinking to myself, aiya body hot got height got dress sense, surely face like fark one la. okie la. i think the bitch in ven appears most of the time la. but its true dun u agree, god is fair. hot body, face like fark. body not nice, face presentable. those got body and face ah surely character like fark la. haha. the baseness of my human nature.

okies back to my story. from far rite, i spotted something PINK jutting out from the top of her head. not black,not dark green, not navy, but PINk! and those kinda cottoncandy PINK! i was like mentally punching my victor fist in the air la i admit. Then i tel u the ultimate horror i saw when i passed her! not only did she fasten the top of her hair(we call it the curry pok) with a PINK (i think was hello kitty!) clip, she also like clipped her fringe with ANOTHER PINK CLIP!!!

On top of that, her face, as pressumed, erm was, lets juz say as flat as a pancake (and tt s being very nice to her). imagine the juxtaposed emotions that i felt - one of utter dismay and disappointment that she dint look as hot as her back conjured her up to be, the other of complete ecstasy that god IS after all blardy freakin fair, like he always is.

okie i might go to hell for this post, but hey, i think this story is worth sharing. Aint it?

2007-04-16T10:21:00.000+08:00

my weak heart.

so, i think i have found out the cause of my fainting spells. My uncle brought me to Raffles Hospital-the Chinese Med dept, and after a whirlwind of probing and testing. The Chinese doc said i have a weak heartbeat.(weak heart= cant pump blood strongly= lower blood pressure) THEN he requested for me to remove my bra for him to listen. thing is this is the first time a man, apart from a bf, has laid his eyes on my boobs. and it felt sickly weird. and i dunno y but he went on to listen to my RIGHT boob for my "heartbeat"?!?!

then he brought me to the accupuncture room for my first session with him. apart from needle-ing my wrist and tummy, he also rolled down the top of my underwear then presspress then inserted the needle juz above THAT area. i tel u. i seriously felt more nauseous by the minute. oh and for your info, the needles on the wrists are for the heart i think, tummy for weight loss and down there for my urinary flow.

yes i have been receivin acc for weight loss at another place for a few times(since nw gonna receive acc from Raffles hosp. then get it done there at the same time lo) but results can onli be seen after 10 sessions apparently. so we shall see if it works like the ads/real life accts (think: fat boy from china) say it does. and i do have urinary flow prob from time to time, i think its cos i dun drink enuff water so like sometimes even thou i have the "pee-ing" feeling, i cant go.

anws i juz hope alls well and fine for my stupid faint heart.

2007-04-09T21:27:00.000+08:00

sitting here on my bed in fronta my laptop, i feel a sudden obligation to post narcissistic pics of myself. so here they are.

and finally. presenting my new lifetime fren- the scar. and pls. ignore the lousy complexion.

2007-04-08T10:28:00.000+08:00

men and bitches.

okie i know i have not been posting at all for the past weeks. i dunno. i think its cos i dun have anythin substantial to say u know. i feel like i NEED to make a pt each time i blog. i mean i dun wana blog bout mundane stuff like. oh i wake up then i brush my teeth then i wash my face, u get my pt. n as ive mentioned before, i not as gd a blogger as some of my frens on my links are.

well, today. i juz want to thank all those who have showed concerned for me n my new lifetime fren- the scar on my forehead. its been almost 3 weeks since i unwillingly acquired such a fren, for lifetime mind u. yes, my scar IS getting better everyday, or least i hope it to be. Ive been takin frens advice and consumin vit E and C pills and also at the same time i bought this gel like sheet from the pharmacy at $50! to flatten and lighten the scar which i hafta put on everynite.

as per my heading. i juz wana say that, guys like bitches dun they? and by bitches i mean girls who take them for granted, treat them like fark, make use of them and assume that guys will ALWAYS pay. No? prove me wrong. i rem a saying that guys are built for the chase, and they act prefer it tt way. they are more attracted when girls put themselves on a pedestal and expect guys to woo them.

i might be wrong. but from wat ive seen and experienced. guys DO actually treat a girlfren or someone they like with more respect when the girl shows them tt its all a no-nonsense affair. girls have to be hard on their guys to keep them ard, girls NEED to slap guys ard once in a while to keep a guy hanging for more. ive seen bitches with men lapping up each word they say, these men are willing to go extremes for these disgusting women.

as much as i hate to admit. i think i actually WANT to be a bitch. or maybe i alrdy am tryin to be one? i dunno. but fact of the matter is, and this pt i make is onli applicable my own experience onli, that girls have to adopt the heck-care attitude at appropriate intervals for their guy to treat them rite. once a girl shows tt she thinks tt this guy is the one for her and starts treatin him as thou he is king, tt guy, regardless how nice a guy he is, WILL and i mean WILL stray.

If u think this theory is wrong, by all means, prove it. and u betta have a damned gd argument becos i, for one, have first hand experience at this.

so girls, feel free to be a bitch to ur partners.

2007-03-23T09:51:00.000+08:00

Im scared. really.

Coverin my forehead with fringe used to be a fashion statement for me. Now, it isnt anymore. It has become a muz to do so. Becos i saw my wound yest and as much as i hate to admit. I know deep down inside despite pple tellin me it wont, i KNOW it WILL leave a scar.

For the first time in my life. im scared. or rather i openly admit tt im scared. very infact. afraid of the damned wound leavin a scar for the rest of my life. Afraid of havin to catch up at work or not havin work at all when i go back to the office becos in juz 2 months, ive taken 2 mcs, one at an event where help was needed and this time for one whole week.

im afraid of wat vicious bitches will try to do to wreck my once beautiful r/s. the one r/s where i tot was to be my last.the one r/s i held on to so tightly despite my inferiority. but nw. is this one r/s i protected with my heart n soul worth doin so til the end despite the hurt i feel and may continue to feel if the 3rd parties dun leave the picture. LOVE. is it enuff this time? i hope so.

im afraid of wat im turnin into in order to make my point across. i dun want to turn into a manipulative, scheming slut. i dun. but y do i haf the feelin tt i subconsciously wan to be tt person. becos all along when i was ven. i wasnt gd enuff. or was i? was it all those assholes in my life tt werent gd enuff? i juz dunno anymore.

rite nw. all i can do is to take the backseat and watch the games unfold.

2007-03-21T13:33:00.000+08:00

i chose silence not because i am ignorant
but because it is simple.
when i keep quiet
dun assume i am stupid
because i know exactly wat is going on.
dun take me for granted
because once im gone
u will regret
mark my words
u will moan my loss.
tel me how can i
go on building somethin tt isnt perfect.
how can i put myself into somethin
tt wasnt wat i wanted in the first place.
can i hang in there?
am i strong enuff to do so?
i pray tt i am.
because ive gone thro this before
it isnt greek to me.
i know wat i wan.
n hopefully you know it too.

2007-03-20T10:28:00.000+08:00

Each time i wake up it all seems like a bad dream, but it is not.

It still feels like yesterday when i blacked out and crashed into my home piano and ladder in the living room due to viral infection of the stomach. Since then, Ive prayed tt i will nv experience tt horrible and scary period again, making my family worry for me.

I tot tt as long as i nv ate the wrong food, drank the wrong drinks and moved ard a bit more, I would stay healthy. Who's to know tt, no matter wat i did. I could nv avoid my next fainting EPISODE, as wat the doc called it. an EPISODE? Til today, the cause of me fainting yest is a question mark. My doc cant give me a solid reason as to y i blacked out. maybe fatigue? somethin i ate? somethin i dint eat? juz somethin. tt was wat he said.

If u stil dint know wat happened to me. I blacked out yest in the bathroom without any warning signs like the last fainting spell. I wasnt feeling anythin outta the blue, and next thing i knew, i saw stars clouding up my vision.

u know how in movies they always do a flash in and out of black during scenes where pple black out, die or get injured? well, it is exactly the same. one minute i flashed to me sitting on the grd. next, i was holding myself up on the sink. next i saw blood dripping down from my forehead.

I managed to get myself wrapped up in the towel and called for my grandma. All my 22 yrs of living, i stil needed my grams to help me with my underwear.

And so, at the hospital. I received 3 stitches on my forehead and 3 on the back of my head. I stil dunno how and where i knocked head into but i think ignorance is bliss. I dun need a reminder each time i take a shower.

The Operating theatre was exactly wat u see in movies, onli colder, literally and metaphorically.
As i lay there awaiting my anesthesia, I was seriously freezin and scared outta my wits, of the pain and wat is to come after. i was seriously, shaking like a leaf.

Anws, they snipped off my hair at the back to stitch my back wound. can u imagine the horror!!! Normally ven would kill u if u wanted to onli MESS up her hair! NOW, her hair is GONE!! SNIPPED! CUT! CHOPPED! and def not by a hairstylist, in fact far from it, mind u!! argh!

so nw, all i can do is wait for my stitches to come off and hope n pray tt it wont leave a scar on my forehead. thou reality tells me it will.

My life is now, officially, a drama.

If u disagree with the above. dis-prove it.

2007-03-04T13:38:00.000+08:00

i nV unDerStoOd whY sOmE aDulTs liKe tO tyPe liKe thIs. liKe HelLo plS GroW uP caN! uR nOt 14 anYmoRe tHanK yOu VeRy MucH. iTs sO nOt cuTe, iTs bLaRdy aNnoYing!

2007-03-02T10:54:00.000+08:00

I am Michelle Chia and a Shiseido Maquillage face model, in my grandfather's eyes.

In my haste to create this post. i forgot to further elaborate my heading.(thank u zaddd). anws it goes like this. few days back i was comin out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. walked past my grandpa sittin at the living rm table readin the papers. he stopped me. pointed to michelle chia and said," girl ah ur in the papers leh."

then juz yest i brought home a Shiseido Maquillage makeup press release to do some work. then left it on the same table. he picked it up. again. he said," eh its u rite. its u leh."

So.....Nw u see y u are always beautiful no matter how you turn out, to urparents/grandparents/adoptive parents/adoptive grandparents...

ive nv cherished and looked forward to my weekends as much as i haf nw since ive started work. weekends are like a luxury good where in this case i get once every week! yey.

bf's coming back next sat! like after 6 weeksss.. another yeyy.

ive found out how certain pple can tok bad about someone behind their backs one minute and turn sickeningly sweet the other in fronta the person. watching this go on at work is as gd as not havin to pay to catch a movie. then you marvel at how gd the actors' acting skills are and smile to urself at how ur sort of like a true viewer- knowing exactly wat is goin on internally btw the actors.

i know this is a pretty bold statement to make considering the fact tt everyone puts on a facade one way or another but, sickeningly fake manipulative pple irk me.

period.

2007-02-19T19:00:00.000+08:00

the base-ness of this woman.

rite nw im juz tryin to survive, in this world where having a great family, a loving bf and a gd job is not enuff, at least not anymore, to this person.

it used to be juz me n my family. love was enuff then. but since when has love become a sea of constant competition, comparing and complainin. when has love itself become, inadequate?

does an LV bag suffice as being love? a holiday paid for by a guy amount to love? a guy who is willing to be ur chauffeur regardless, equal love? do you see love in the eyes of a guy who forks out cash to pay for ur everythin?

y are u so terribly materialistic to the extend tt u would sacrifice true love and frenship for somethin tt onli last awhile? y are u so blinded by greed tt u dun see the sincerity in the pple ard them who care. who gave u the rite to manipulate pple who truly wana be part of ur live? wat rite do u haf to live in the disillusion tt u are gd enuff to treat pple the way u do tt even beasts would be ashamed of performin.

i know this is an angry post. n i AM angry, no doubt.

i totally despise human beings who assume the post of being God and treatin others like crap. I, haf seen one such creature n even thou i dun personally know tt person. I m sori to say i look down on her. I know, to look down on someone doesnt put me in a very flattering light. But i feel sori for tt person's quest in findin the richest life partner, making up lies to conceal her true identity and being simply a manipulative slut. y slut u ask? oh i dunno. how bout ermm sleepin w someone who is willin to pay for her everythin but yet not willing to get tog w tt person.

to u i say: pls wake up n smell the coffee. life doesnt revolve solely ard money. n love DEFINITELY doesnt. u think ur body n looks wil last u a lifetime n enable u to hook tt rich guy u wan? pls. lets see WHO is willing to give u an LV bag during courtship when ur juz wrinkly body.

n to all wonderin. i AM this angry becos this woman not onli made use of a gd fren BUT someone who may prob be set to be in my life for a very long time.

sori i hafta use my blog as a media for my ranting but cant help. I AM FARKIN PISSED!

2007-02-18T13:22:00.000+08:00

The conversation.

Dee: "Mine's loose leh. Urs like tighter"

Me: " That sounds sooo wrong dee"

hahh. If u r wonderin, we were tokin about, no... not THAT thing u dirty minded pple were thinkin bout ah! we were on the topic of how being able to tie a cherry stick into a knot w ur tongue n mouth makes u a gd kisser. sooo.. I as u all know can do it (AHEM) so then dee was like sayin yea she did it too but it was damn diff but then she couldn get her knot tighter ahh.. ahhhhh

Anws im all decked out dressed up n made up waiting for relatives to arrive. But i damn sian cos I GOT NO CAMERA WITH MEEEE.. haiz.. ven the cam whore with NO camera. how to be cam whore like tt liaooooo! the uncle la! went overseas then took his camera with him. ya la.its HIS cam to being w la. but then u know .like somehow became like mine wat!! so nw new yr all dressed up ven GOT NO CAMERA TO USEEEE.. wahlao. like nv wear clothes go out kind can. so no narcissistic pics of ven this chinese new yr la! SHITE!

the bf's sis got admitted into the hospital again, this time cos she got very bad rashes due to the brain med she got .think allergic to it. damn suay la she. somemore she gotta undergo radiation to lower the chances of the brain tumour/ cancer re-occuring. anws i took a cab down to ttsh. then ah then farkin cab driver took a huge round about can! so i ended up payin bout a dollar more. okie NEVERMIND. in the blardy can. he took out a pair of tweezers n was PLUCKIN HIS CHIN HAIR AH!! i was like if a PIECE of tt chin hair transports over to me via the air con ah. he w farkin die ah! then ah. AGAIN. i got outta the cab. then a blardy MALAY ambulance attendent WHISTLED at me n said :"phwweett happy neww yearr" ven says: _|_

got sooo many pple tag my board then i wana reply damn loonnggg cos im glad u guys r being supportive n stil read my stuff (or view my narcissistic pics la or see wat silly stuff ive been up to). im thankful so for the first time. ive given replies in a post!! hahah

SOH- hahah oh it means love me ahh.hahh. i nv knew la. cos nv really bothered since im not a flower person u know. so howww vday got give SOMEONE 12 roses not ahh! n HOW u know 12 means love u ahh.. hmmm
NICK- yess dearrr i alrdy cut him a lotta slack cannn. hhaha. he knows i love his sillyness la! n i hope everythin is gd for u nick in malaysia rite.. jiayou ah.next time i wana see u on tv kind ah!
DEE- hahah was damn farkin funny tokin to u last nite can! was great ..n hahha yes la he send me roses in the middle of the ocean rite. haha. anws i hope tt thing we were tokin bout works out for u! whheee. then u owe me!
ZAD- EH! WHAT minah vibe ah u! haha i sooo cheena pok nw cann..hahah. dunno y also leh. anws surely for the 1st time in like 3 yrs u call me TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS LA! wat is this ah izad!

2007-02-15T09:09:00.000+08:00

Sweet but mellow.

i received an sms from the bf in Aceh (Indonesia) yest askin me, "haf u received my GIFT yet?". this one ah part one alrdy spoil the surprise. okie la i act knew i was gonna send me stuff to my office when he asked me to sms my office add and number to his sis (he said "juz in case of emergency she can contact me"). At that time i dint really suspect anythin much. but then like few days before vday he called then he asked if i was gonna be in my office on feb14. then i knew liao obviously!

when i told a fren that eh my bf spoil surprise leh tel me he gonna send me a GIFT leh.. then fren was like." nvm la at least he nv say WAT it was ma hor. then after tt surely after i told my bf i haven received rite. he said" huh cannot be leh. i asked my sis to help me send FLOWERS to ur office." like thank u leh seriously. haha ..juz TEL me wat he is gonna send la huh. then he stil dare to ask me last nite if i was SURPRISED. haha.. pls lo! haha.the boyfriend really cannot keep secrets one sia. (recall: one month ann: on the way to bring me to SOMEWHERE to eat. he TOLD me WHERE lo).

thing was the flowers were due to be sent btw 9am n 3pm la. so he sms me at 4pm thinkin tt i alrdy got his flowers. oh wells. its the tot tt counts la really, since im not a flower person (chocs or jewelry anyday man!).6 weeks w/o the boyfren really damn freakin sian la. even thou sometimes distance is gd n im kinda enjoyin my "singlehood" but no doubt it is def betta to had someone beside u no matter wat.

12 roses stand for wat ah?? Anyone knowss. he act wanted to get my white tulipppsss( nicee) instead of roses but then his sis got pink roses instead.hahh

oh new colleague started her first day yest. very nice n harmless lookin girl. i say harmless cos she doesnt exude the cunning n scheming air ard her. looks like she's 18 even thou she 25 this yr la! well im still keepin my mind open thou cos looks and first impression dun count most of e time. but so far she's gd to tok to, shop with, lunch with n chill w. work is gettin betta!

Happy chinese new yr pple! haf a great one!

2007-02-11T19:31:00.000+08:00

ven, the natural at smokin.

first time i tried sheesha, i got a cloud of smoke out rite away! grape sheesha was disappointing la act. no taste of grape watsoever can. smokin is wayyy over-rated. i dunno y pple do it anws. i dint like it one bit. not at all.

the color blind crooner

okie for all who are virgins at ktv sessions. u probably dun know wat the "joke" bout being color blind and singing at the ktv pub is and how mismatched these two are. here goes. in a ktv pub, the girls part is usually by the color red n guys blue of cos. so in duets where both the guy n the girl are supposed to sing tog are highlighted by the color green.

well this guy u see here. is colorblind. meaning he cant see the color green.(well act he can-i asked him wat does he see wat he sees the color green n he said green lo. but i dunno la. maybe somehow his brain doesn register it or somethin. so u can imagine how funny it was when all of us had to TEL him ALL the time when to sing when it was time for him to sing when then color GREEN came on the screen. we were goin- GREEN! GREEN! n then pointin at him!

Anws the amazing this here is ah, this guy being colorblind ah. DROVE us ard in his CAR for the whole of yest tryin to get us killed can! lucky we all got home safe in one piece. imagine juz onli finish last day of exam n being fresh grad then kana killed by some guy who is colorblind but ACTION n bluff his way thro the drivin tests la! then really somethin happen i wil say THANK U LEH to him lo!

see ah. demure sweet girl rite. wear so nice then cute hair n cute top all rite. pose for cam damn pro like tt ah.

SIT UNTIL SO CHOR LOR! wahlao. the HORROR of it!

ps: (dee i post ur pretty pic FIRST then the unglam one okie. haha. nice of me? NAH. cos i wan the viewers to kana shock after they see ur pretty pic. instead of shock first then ahhhhh pretty girl la... HAHA)

surely a bit more chinese new yr-ish can or not la the ktv room.

either im sooo yummy tt she wans to eat me or tt i trigger her upchuke reflex.

girls (missing shaun-onli hunk in the class of babes) of BMCD10406A. so gonna miss the class.

2007-02-09T17:23:00.000+08:00

ven the malay/thai/phillipino/malaysian/eurasian, once again.

yup. meeting the press pple at a Cle de Peau event was fun, but being the photographer not really. free class food damn good, but havin to make small tok not fun. n yes, i was taken for a malay/eurasian after a very long time of being a non minahlianven. hahh

anws if u guys wana see pics of event let me know. i can get it from the company's cam n post it.

my "alrdy try to be very neat" desk!

check out my mickey mouse necklace!

i miss the bf la!

2007-02-08T14:56:00.000+08:00

the possibly haunted storeroom.

Because the PR cupboard for Shiseido islocated in the storeroom, i hafta go in there each time i wana get garbage bags, platics bags, pens, files, all this shite la. I tel u ah. i seriously feel damn spooked each time i enter tt maze of stionery, beauty products and other shite. I feel like "someone" is watchin me, n i really dun like tt feelin. So nw everytime where i haf no damn choice n i HAF to go into the storeroom. i do wat my older colleage told me to do. Make "Ahem" with your throat like ur clearin it juz to "inform someone" tt ur going in. okie im freaked nw juz by tokin bout it.

anws, bout 2 weeks back i got to enjoy my first "high-class" pampered FREE foodie. You know how all these damn ridiculously priced foods with blardy small food portion always seem distant to you, esp if ur a student or not born w a silver spoon in ur mouth kind.

well this u see is the main course of 3 courses tt i had at one of the Ettusais event. wahliao. the orange thingy rite there has an OYSTER in it la! nabei my fav. n for the first time i had Foie Gras (in e spoon w tt cotton candy), dunno whether is duck or goose liver one la, dunno authentic or not. but who cares la! shiok. crispy on the outside n itside soft n mushy. yum.

Oh here u see the first orders i did for the company. Valentines Day cookie for the press pple. this one is for Za.

n i know i haven done this is a vvvveerrryyy long time. but yup. its back! narcissistic pics of ven! they may not be as gd as before due to rusty cam whoring skills. but can la hor. "mai hiam la" (means dun be picky in dialect for my non chinese frens out there!) presenting... ven at work!

2007-01-30T17:50:00.000+08:00

i really dunno wat to think anymore

maybe i shouldn, at all

2007-01-28T13:24:00.000+08:00

this youtube clip has been sent to me by like 3 frens la! so i decided to check it out to see if it was over-rated. n its FARKIN BASTARD funny. u ll hafta check it out for urself.

Full clip of the RK House NO POK shite

2007-01-27T22:27:00.000+08:00

i miss the boyfriend, much.

i know this sounds like its gonna turn outta be a "sappy sob-py oh i love my bf so much i wana die n i cant do without him" entry, well, its erm kinda like tt la. but not to the extend where u would roll ur eyes n rather stick a blunt pencil into urself which u deem w be less painful then listenin to me yak about my bf.

thing is, i ve nv act written a post abt my bf, neither have i ever planned to do so, tt is, until today; when he left to sail for 6 weeks. It was today when i realized i really haf unknowingly let myself fall for someone to the pt where steppin out is no longer an option anymore. i dunno how it happened n i nv wanted to let tt happen when ur vulnerable of being hurt, again.

At the start of the r/s i unconsciously was being difficult to him juz to, u know, test him sorta thing. to see if this one's for real or is he a bad nut juz like the others. i was juz tryin to "crack" him. n with patience n so much understandin, he proved himself to be a keeper. yes, we may stil haf petty arguments n mini disagreements once in a while, but we always manage to work it out(okie la most of the time he gives in to me la k).

Anws u know the sayin, "u ll nv appreciate something/someone til its gone"? nw i really understand then meaning of this phrase. i dunno how im gonna survive the 6 weeks really, i dun wan to go thro it, but wat choice do i haf. bf sailor ma, after 6 weeks he come back break 2 weeks then go off to sail for another month again. like sai la really. It barely been 9 hrs since he set sail n im like this. how sia u tel me! how to survive 42 days, 1,008 hrs and 60,480mins.. okie im being too emo! Hopefully w work n exams, it wil be easier to pass time.

Speakin bout work, u know ah, im down w gastric flu or some viral infection tt caused me to black out a month ago. thing is, i farkin hate is when pple think tt i did somethin tt im not guilty off. i think my manager thinks i took e 2 days mc for fri n sat(got event) because i wanted to be w my bf before he sails off. she said, " i juz wan u to understand the importance of ur responsibilities." wat sai can. like i WAN to be sick la. like i WAN to vomit and lausai n feel dizzy n haf stomach cramps la.

okie la. i guess me n my big mouth also to blame la. from nw on i shall keep my personal life out of the office no matter how nice n comfortable the other party makes me feel. Quoting a fren of 17 -yrs-n-counting, " wat for put ur emotions into ur office, ur not gonna build ur home there wat." true la huh. damn true.

OH! i did my FIRST SONG DEDICATION ON 933FM juz nw!! n my dj fren read it outtt..whee.. she's on i think every sat 9 to 11pm. listen out for her pple! Rem dear not many pple get to achieve their dreams so pls jiayou n hang in there alright! =)

i hope this nostalgia im feelin w fade. i wish time wil pass fast til he's back. i wan to get thro work without gettin doubts from pple. i will make it thro this phase of my life unfazed!

2007-01-25T16:40:00.000+08:00

nabei! cologne muz pour whole bottle on urself isit!

i tel u ah. i damn irritated can! nabei this morn damn cold then nose running n keep sneezin all ah. i entered the train to go to work. then u know la, in the morn the train damn quiet one rite cos everyone damn farkin stoned kind. so i was like controlling the damn urge to sneeze la. n then my sneeze is not like e "ah choo" like soft like fly kind. my sneeze these few days juz decided to b the bitch, so my sneeze is more like "AH CHOO", like big hippo's sneeze can!

then nabei suddenly i felt this SHOCK of perfume wave hit my nose n i seriously felt the ultimate urge to sneeze can. then i glared ard to see who e culprit is so i can glare at HIM. i know its a HIM cos of cos i can distinguise la duh. Anws. couldnt identify the damn culprit la. then
all the way to dhouby ghaut e 3 stops i was lookin like a stupid prune la. face all scrunched up n nose runnin. nabei. oie la.so here's the anti-climax.. haha. i TAHAN-ED all the way til i got outta e train. then dint feel like sneezin liao. haha. okie la boliao story i know. but bored at work ma.

anws the bf is leavin this sunday for his 6 week sailing . ultimate sian-ness. then come back i think rest for a week then going off to sailing for another one month should be. wahlao. frens. pls ask me out more often horrrr.

2007-01-22T10:46:00.000+08:00

wah lao all the brand loyalty can.

juz few days back i was innocently powdering my nose at my work cubicle with my Loreal powder case, then sui sui my manager walked past n peeked into my cubicle. Then next thing i knew, she annouced damn loudly saying, " we haf a loreal user here!" then surely my colleague across from me in charge of Za turned n then say, "where's her makeup pouch? throw away!"

eh like surely a bit more brand loyal can! haha. cannot expect me like throw out ALL my non- Shiseido/Za/Ettusais/Cle de Peau stuff when i receive news tt im gonna b workin here rite! but anws the gd thing is, my manager juz handed me a Za limited edition foundation case complete WITH foundation in my skin shade for me to use la! FREE can. surely a bit more cool la.

anws aside from all these work stuff. Nick msned me n told me he wanted my bf to join a competition. i was like ?!?! huh!?!? anws after listenin to it. haha.im SURE my bf wil come out tops la! n all of u girls out there votin ah. pls keep ur votes fair ah! dun onli vote for pple u know or fren fren kind hor! not fair to my bf!

Details of the competition taken from soh's blog.

*EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT!!*Some exclusive news, for all you regular readers. Following clandestine discussions, the board of hunks has decided on a competition to be held sometime towards the end of the year. It'll involve a beach, guys without shirts, girls with bikinis, and tons of testosterone spilling over into the sea.

*Beauties and The Best*
Venue: SentosaTime: Day timeDress code: Skimpy (guys too)Entry: Guys - $??? Girls - Free entry with a bikini on, free flow guys.

Basically from now til the day of the COMPETITION, the contestants will undergo rigorous self-discipline and training in attaining the physique of Atlas. The contestants will be judged "SURVIVOR"-style, each being voted off until only the best remains. Voting rules to be announced in future; but one confirmed rule is that GF cannot vote for BF. UNFAIR LAR!!! The organisers are still considering the prizes to be given, but rest assured they'll be as attractive as honey is to bees, a fitting metaphor considering how we expect you girls to FLOCK to the contestants on that day itself.

There'll also be preliminary rounds, held online. "How?" you may ask. 2 words - TRASH TALKING. Contestants are invited, NAY, ENCOURAGED, to flame the others. 20% of your grades are gonna be determined by this. Think of it as the Continual Assessment component. The best quotes every week will be featured on our MSN nicks, so whip out those blogs, or your girlfriend's blog, and let the trash talking begin.

Trash talk 1: I swear, I don't even have to train, and my size 42 waist will still look as good as the rest of you wimps.

Stay tuned people for more updates, including a special teaser trailer featuring the contestants themselves!

HAHA! any hot dudes who think ur up for it or can beat my bf let me know! =)

2007-01-19T11:32:00.000+08:00

juz when i tot i nv hafta do stupid mindless stuff at work ever again, here i am tryin to attached a damn black feather to a black stabilo pen with double sided tape, black satin ribbon n a totally useless bottle of fabric glue for an Ettusais event. (n mind u ah. all this shit i ran from place to place from 12 to 6 yest to go okie! hungry n wet! argh! ) its really DAMN NABEI can! i am damn angry la! i hafta do 20 of this crap can. as if tt wasnt bad enuff, i almost fell to my death at work when i juz came outta e hair saloon room at work n tripped on e blardy step!! NABEI la!! really damn farkin angry like farkity mc fark laa!

dun care liao la.. today i m juz gonna slack ard do things slowly n chill. take my time la. another 6 more hrs before i get off work! time passes really fast, GOOD!

anws the bf's sis is gettin betta. thank u to those who showed concern, appreciate it! her rite side is damn swollen nw thou. i got her a white n black cap to wear when she gets betta. =)

a lotta pics to post but so farkin little time. ahhh.. no time n energy to study also! wahlao this time i really die liao la!

2007-01-18T08:55:00.000+08:00

my role model

i nv ever expected to look up to someone tt literally know, u know? like how pple say, "oh my role model is my mum/dad/boyfren/aunty/grandma/teacher/ blahblah." But for me, a loved one is nv considered a role model. They re pple i love, yes. They re pple i turn to in my darkest times, yes. They re pple who share thick n thin w me, yes again.

But role model? to me a role model means someone tt u are not n u so badly wana strive to be tt someone. A role model to me means tt, tt person has no flaws watsoever n is so perfect in e way tt i wana BE her. Therefore, a person tt i dun know n someone who is distant from me, cant possibly have any flaws rite. They say frens cant get too close or they wil find out stuff bout e other tt they dun like. Of cos it is true.

Anws, back to my trail of tot. A Role Model. Well, i think i juz met mine yesterday. well maybe not YESTERDAY. but like i really SAW wat she was made of n how she dealt w shit yesterday. well no prizes for guessin- it is my bf's 23 yr ol sis. Even facin a brain op, she was able to joke n smile w us. After the op she regained consciousness almost immediately n could start her lighted hearted jokes w us again. Even thou at the start she was kinda disoriented n incoherent, she stil managed to make us laugh. N she dint even show a teeny bit of fear during e whole process. Amazing? i think it is.

so. i was thinkin of gettin her a cap cos the front part of her head is shaved. n as u know all girls are vain la. so yea. a cap it is. lets juz hope she passes the 48hrs danger period. pray pple.

nw i understand wat it is to obtain strength from another person's strength. Find ur role model pple.

2007-01-17T08:26:00.000+08:00

You never think it will happen to u, but it will.

my bf's sis is in the ICU at ttsh nw with a tumor in her brain and with the possibility of "going" at any time. she's juz 23 this yr, was a grad from NUS and was holdin a stable job. nw, life seems bleak for her. of cos i may not understand wat my bf is goin thro cos u nv fully understand wat the other is going thro unless u "walk in their shoes". on top of this, he is currently facin a court case for "mis-use of a parkin coupon". i really dunno how to make him feel betta n i guess i can onli be there for him mentally n physically rite nw.

the operation on her is gonna be at 10 later this morn, to find out wat kinda tumor it is. since it is pressin agst the brain, im sure i dun hafta narrate the consequences if somethin were to go wrong. rite nw, im sittin at my work desk waitin for my direct superior to come in to give me my tasks for the day. Im helpless without her, n im sure my bf feels as helpless as he can ever be, maybe a trillion times worse. nw he's at work, waitin to see if his staff sergant can get a replacement to take over the reins of sailing his ship. imagine having to work when a family member's life is uncertain.

i dunno how all this is goin to turn out. of cos i hope n pray tt everythin w go fine. we can onli wait n see nw.

2007-01-03T12:05:00.000+08:00

IF UR UGLY DUN PULL A SOUR FACE CAN! IT WOULD BE MUCH APPRECIATED. THANK U VERY MUCH!

i know i may sound totally like a bitch here, but im really not. well , maybe i am sometimes. BUT, onli when the occassion calls or person asks for it.

juz yest i was at the new IKEA at tampanies w my grandma n e bf shoppin for throw pillows for my living room. we decided to head to the cafe/food court/eatin place for lunch first. n it was crowdy as hell. so we split to "snatch" tables like typical singaporeans. Well, so happens my grandma plopped her ass down str when a family left their table without noticin the fact tt a couple opp might juz haf come first awaitin that same table.

so... being the nice person tt i always am. (ahem), i asked my grams to get up let them haf it instead. okie so here's the part tt blardy hell pissed e daylights outta me- the gf was starin at my grandma as thou she's a goddamn horrendous alien sproutin foam who juz did the world's most disgusting thing ever. the bf on the other hand was all smiley n asked if it were juz e 2 of us n if we would like to share the table.

RITE! as if i wana sit opp someTHING tt would make me lose my appetite. pls la huh. if ur ugly ah n not pretty ah n dun haf a hot body ah. pls la. at least SMILE can. they say a smile is the best plastic surgery. well tt may not b true in all cases. but well. at least u try rite. this THING here with her damn puffed up cheeks , pimply skin, scrawy body, distorted frame n farked up face had the damn nerve to GLARE at my grandma with her absoutely repulsive eyes.

okie thing is. im not pissed cos she's ugly okie. im not THAT much of a bitch. im downright pissed cos she NEVER ONCE smiled or even tried to smile EVER. n her bf, which is absolutely mind boogling to me tt she would haf one in the first place, on the other hand was such a gentleman.

as luck would haf it, not for HER, tt is. God, or whoever's watchin our confrontation let me haf a table rite NEXT to the creature n her bf. wells as i walked past her, of cos i GLARED rite back at her la. she was alone as her VERY BLIND bf went to order. i gathered up the BITCHIEST SLUTTIEST most farked up pissed off stare n lasered it rite into tt revolting swampthing. i did tt for a few times. how could i pass up the chance of sweet revenge rite.oh n then she picked up her cell, dialled some shit, n toked into it with a hands coverin her mouth bowin her head down low like a coward. oh pls. grow some balls la. if u haf the balls to start A glare. haf the damn balls to finish it like a "man".

well, let me tel u. havin dinner next to the world's most nauseating living entity was NOT gd for my upchuke reflex at all. i dunno how her bf can stand to even look at her for more then 2 seconds. That thing kept lookin over at our table thro-out the whole lunch. after tt i think she even got her bf to look over. dunno for wat. but i could care less.

all this time. i NEVER saw tt swamp animal smile once. but let me tel u. wantin to see her smile was a mistake. HUGE. cos when i eventually did, by accident of cos, i wanted to stab myself repeatedly w a blunt pencil. it would be less painful n less strenous on my upchuke reflex. n even her smile looked nasty.

while my bf n i were away orderin. my grandma told me she had waved the cleaner over to clear our plates. n when the cleaner was on the way to my table. tt disgusting lifeform stopped tt cleaner n flagged her over to clean her table first. lucky the cleaner had some sense n told her to wait. hah. my grams told me thro out the time we were orderin, tt lowlife kept lookin over at her.

i really nv seen someone as rude, disrespectful (to an elderly person), undeservin (of her bf tt is), revolting , gross, repulsive, nauseating, appalling, shameless, revolting....., well i could go on n on, as tt creature. oh i think they re married cos i saw a ring on the bf's finger, well, to the bf: i really applaude the heroic act of u adoptin sucha hideous thing, i hope she does u a favour n leaves u to decompose n shrivel n die.

oki. nw im done rantin. pls do forget everythin u read here. im nv this mean. n i nv make personal attacks on other pple's appearance, well, almost. so dun judge me by this post. cos u would be pissed too if u were to see her pale, gross,.... okie! stoppin nw! forget pls.

2006-12-30T00:09:00.000+08:00

my first black-out.

i nv tot it was gonna be like tt. u know how sometimes u squat for too long n get white spots in ur eyes that clears out after a while. well. pre-faintin was juz like tt- u feel nauseous, u get white spots in ur eyes, u hear ringin in ur ears n u feel seriously crappy. the whole blackin out deal freaked e shit outta my grandma who managed to support me as i went down. faintin was when i was tryin to make my way to e toilet(diarrhoea), totally couldnt see at all n accordin to my grandma i couldn hear her callin me. next thing i knew i slumped onto the ground. i dint even know i had made half e way back to my room before i knocked out. the faintin part wasnt tt bad cos ur out cold. but the pre n post faintin was farked. like takin e roller coaster for 1,436 times before passin out.

at the hospital.

at the emergency hall at ttsh, i did all sorts of tests like e ECG for e heart, urine, blood, temperature. cos i had juz came back from the states, they stuck a yellow sticker (which e nurse told me was for pple who juz came back from WHO's list of "dangerous" zones) n put me in a contained area. blardy hell had to go thro so many stages before i got my treatment. like surely pple not feelin like fark la. ask ques all then made me repeat like how many nabei times. but luckily then doc was cute. HAHA. well at least my dad said he was la. but being the vain me. i dint wear my glasses at e hospt.( n if ur wonderin, yes i did manage to get SOME makeup on in my lousy state).

anws lab results were good. juz some viral infection thingy of the stomach la. muz the e farkin nabei prata i had the nite before la. nw think of prata wana vomit. dun think i gonna haf prata for e next 2 yrs la. pple. if wana go makan those 24 hr prata kind. be very warned ah. cos pots n pans use for 24 hrs kind. very rarely change ah.

dad: " eh at least the doctor not bad lookin wat. i wouldn mind havin this kinda son-in-law."

ven:" eh surely i dint juz pass out la. n surely i got no bf hor!"

dad:" got bf also got eyes wat can see rite. dun tel me ur bf go out nv see girls meh."

ven:"...."

i think im really really blessed to haf such open minded family members. i mean who can like use vulgarities in fronta grandmother n father kind huh n nv kana kp-ed. who can openly discuss sexual explicities w family kind huh. who's family so open until like tt. u tel me!

anws. im on the fast track of recoverin. even lost some weight i think. obviously la huh. no appetite ma..haha ..good! countdown's not a big deal to me so stayin home on the eve of a new yr aint tt bigga deal. but i think im stil gonna go to the yearly countdown session w the bf's frens juz so he can attend it.

on a totally unrelated note. u know how sometimes pple tel u something up front n for tt moment u believe it cos of their sincere tone. but when they re not by ur side. the doubts creep rite back in. well. i juz dunno wat to believe n wat not to anymore. we shall see how this ends huh.

2006-12-25T22:17:00.000+08:00

y do pple do countdowns? i mean like wat is the purpose of a countdown anyway? doesnt it juz come n go regardless of if u verbally count it down or think it or juz ignore it totally? call me indifferent. but ive nv been to a countdown ever in my 21 yrs of livin. nv did. nv had. nv planned to. tt is. until i met the bf. the countdown was done w him n his frens at st james power station, a place tt suddenly sprung up after i came back from oklahoma (okie maybe i dun follow the news). anws i stil wasnt able to convince myself tt "woo hoo 5,4,3,2,1 merry xmas lehh". i duno. im juz indifferent like tt. in some ways.

in other ways, i wan to be indifferent but i juz fail to do so. u know how some pple juz cant help but check out an ex'es or an ex'es current fling or the spouse's ex fling's blog/frenster/lj/website, juz, because. well, i, for one outta many others, m ashamed to say tt im guilty of such sneaky behaviour. n am not surprised to find out tt a certain individual tt im veryveryvery close to is also gulity of such
pleasures, if i may cal it tt.

y so insecure? i ask myself. honestly i think tt ans is.one word- competition. no seriously.i mean we dun like to lose. we dun like the word NO. when we get rejected/ meet w a failure/hit rock bottom. its a NO to ur efforts. we dun like tt guy/girl tt we like to tel us "no". we dun like for someone to breakup/ reject us n then go after/accept someone new in their life. i think its tt primal animal instincts tt is innate to all of us. tt instinct to "hunt" n to be the best at it. tt instinct to mate n not be rejected. tt instinct to wana "stand tall" n look dashing. yes? no? okie i really duno.

i really think im blabbering. im sick and mind-farked. ans my ques if u could pls. help me out here.

2006-12-20T18:50:00.000+08:00

i've been a dirty girl in oklahoma.

if ur thinking naughty tots rite nw. ur on e wrong track! the smell of clean crisp clothes are heavenly rite nw to me. havin like NO laundry washed clothes for 3 weeks is no joke man i tel u. i mean.yea i dun smell too bad n i dun perspire tt much. but stil. i would like to smell gd u know..okie im turnin u off rite nw aint i. anwss..

IVE GRADUATED!! without a cert tt is. a cert which i ll get in oct i think. feels.. weird.. act. somehow like i dun haf a direction in life anymore.. u know.. like havin a somewat fixed routine for like 21 yrs of my life n nw suddenly everythin's gonna change. in a gd way i hope.

i apologize for e lack of updates in e last week ive been in oklahoma.. i ve been too tired to update..
n im stil lazy to do so. ahhh.. alright..some VERY random pics up!

the graduating class of 2006! whee. the onli guy in our class is nowhere to be seen thou.

"joy" graduates with her "ma" n "pa"

my 1st n prob onli NBA game ever! oklahoma hornets vs cleveland cavaliers. n hornets won!!! we, even thou were not oklahomans, were screamin our heads off for the home team. the mascot was, of cos, a hornet. "BEE-fence, BEE-fence!!"

one of my lecturer's home by the lake!

this is so "lake-house". if u watch e movie u ll know wat i mean.

u would nv haf guessed he was my psychology prof.

wahlao.his v. own billard table.

erm. since when do u see brooms like tt in spore.

okc zoo!

i loovvee this smiling, "hair" greased back frog la!

nemo n daddy.

this one surely lau-sai until power if eat sia.

up on mt scott i think. yes i fell. again. nabei. how many times wan me to fall sia. ice also fall. rock also fall. @^%@&*#

tryin to do a "charlie's angel".

A place in the middle of e mountains tt serve farkin orgasmic fooddddd! me n few others ordered second servings la!

my root beer float! e size of my face!

this is orgasm rite there.

Up on Wichita Mountain.

the bisons. one of the protected n precious species to the Native Indians.

a bison's horn. (hello, hello? could i speak to mr flintstone pls.)

white tailed deer's antelop.

my environmental science prof. doc branch i think. looks like santa?

nick-our tour guide n whose great great grandpa was Native indian on the mountain.

the bus nick took us ard in.

my side of the room.

tadah! all packed n ready to leaveee.

shoppin at walmart!

on top of the world: the silent paradise.

somethin missin from this post? of cos! wat post is complete without narcissistic pics of ven n ven onli. hah. here a few. for nw.

2006-12-09T06:16:00.000+08:00

penthouse (home) alone

i think i almost blew up the microwave when i tried to heat up a can of campbell soup. i swear i heard crackling n then i saw sparks. then i freaked out n gasped n cursed. when i realized tt aint doin anythin to help. i poked at the button to open e microwave door. n wala. no more sparks.. phew. i could haf blown the house down.. or even worse. my face out! hhrrrrrr

oh n this i muz tel. while everyone was out at the festival of lights thingy, i dint go n i tot i was e onli one who stayed behind.juz as i was feelin lonely n logged in to msn. "msn sound" then i saw my name in caps in a pop out convo window. it was dee! whee..n we decided to hang. well as we saw a RABBIT on our way back from laundry. we of cos tried to coax it to us. we were so engrossed in tt little furry rabbit when suddenly we heard a mass flappin of wings!! i dunno.. it could haf been a giant bat or somethin horrendous like it. we freaked n ran. well. i teared. ( yes teared dee, not cried okie! wahlao later pple think im some wuss or wat!)

anws the silence rite nw is gd. its therapeutic. well at least i think it is. after spendin 24/7 of time w ur roomies. i juz need some time alone. okies gonna cook me some maggi noodles n sausages n cuttlefish balls n wanton! thank god for instant mee. its life savin! n im gonna get my family a microwave for xmas! dunno how i survived 21 yrs without one. cant do without a microwave nw.

the countdown to going home begins! its 8 more days. woohoo!

2006-12-07T10:20:00.000+08:00

im damn shagged. juz enjoy e pics. n oh did i mention insensitivity n selfishness aint my cuppa tea like AT ALL? i dun presume it will be anyone else's. so pls grow some sense.

2006-12-04T10:09:00.001+08:00

i was lookin thro ol photos in my com. n when i saw pics of my bf n of my grandma, a weird feeling of unfamilarity was cast over me. it was as thou i was seeing their faces again in a very very long time even thou ive onli been away for a week. okie enuff of nostalgia.

pics.

see darlin im wearin ur scarfff!

in e control room.

on the set. we did a 30 min final production where each of us had our individual roles to play. i was talent on air, assistant director then audio person. tv production was great! i nv watched tv and took photos e same way again.

decoratin my first xmas tree!

some riverboat ride we had.

wahlao. 3rd ice cream in 1 week lor.

Lake Haftner.

Art museum.

glass art.

oh n this last one. check out e lip and nose print in e black space. i was lookin at tt same piece of art when i heard a "pang" beside me. lo n behold. n VERY clever room mate bumped into e piece of glass pane. hah!

2006-12-01T13:10:00.000+08:00

WINTER WONDERLANNDDD!

n so sch was cancelled n we stayed in most of e day apart from trips out for cam whore-ing n dinner at e dining area. sch's prob gonna be out again tml since it wil be dangerous of diff to drive.

as usual, pics up.

see. i told u e food would get more pro.

pics tel a betta story then i can. so. im out.

2006-11-30T12:14:00.000+08:00

ITS RAININ ICE NW IN OKLAHOMA!! whee.. this is it!!

a crazy urge to eat hot popcorn.. therefore took a pack providin in our hotel room n popped my first bag of popcorn!!!!

in true ven style. v random pics for viewin. too lazy to blog la. its damn cold here n im freezin in my sweats.

our tv production studio.

nope not a real fireplace. its a prop in our studio set.

our first meal we cooked in okla! looks gross but tastes amazin! we gonna whip up more pro lookin like stuff soon k!

damn gorgeous hugee white truck!

caught in e act! ice cream in winter act keeps u warm. its proven!

the set we built!

The Oklahoma- prints oklahoma's national newspaper

We were allowed to sit in durin a new filmin. oh n WE APPEARED ON OKLAHOMA NATIONAL TV durin e last segment when they juz introduced us for like 5sec! apparently e clip's online but i cant find it! if i can. u ll see it!

Tierney Cook

Frank Johnson

my lecturer's farkin huggee home with TWO garage!

girls in e studio

Oklahoma city university's indoor stadium

carebear shirts from walmart!

our bus driver n his (cutest little girl ever!) granddaughter

2006-11-28T21:52:00.000+08:00

i arrived in oklahoma with the mindset tt these "angmores" were gonna be racist n think tt us asian faces were less in, well, basically everything then them. but in fact all my distorted n exaggerated tots were juz petty ignorance, brought on by wat? i dunno. prob the whole "Americanization" n study of am. politics. juz yest, 2 of our lecturers told us tt their students said tt "we re so pretty". hmm. this further proved, on top of polite food servers n counter staff, tt they re not racist. in fact. we may be e ones tt are?

2006-11-27T11:02:00.000+08:00

juz check out e pics(i know wat u muz be thinkin huh nik n soh)!. anws damn lazy to really post an entry. sch schedule is out n its gonna be hectic!

i juz wana go home.

horizon.

lobby entrance.

crazy ass room-mates!

queen size bed! shared thou w a fren.

our penthouse! lucky ky has e whole top level to herself!

first meal in oklahoma.

dun ask.

"reuben" ?!?! wrap??

oklahoma city memorial

items hung by families of e deceased.

no.s say 9.01- the time when e bomb-er entered e bulidin.

9.03- time when bomb exploded.

peanuts in a bucket.

yup peanut shells on the floor! we re encouraged to do so. surely spore like this fine like sai la!

2006-11-26T10:57:00.000+08:00

yup in oklahoma rite nw after freakin crazy 23 hours of flight time. the pictures below show the bf in his most touchin act ever.

the pictures say it all.

act he wanted to hold them up after i entered the departure gates. but then cos they was too damn many pple n i was too damn paiseh to let him do so (yes i found out wat he wanted to do), so then he juz opened them up to show to me.

ring he got for me. n e dogtag i made for both of us some time ago. i saw the ring tt showed from his singlet when he was sleepin.so i was a little prepared for wat he was gonna do for me before i leave.

first card he wrote. n foldings he did himself!

pictures of oklahoma up soon. lazy lazy.

2006-11-24T09:40:00.000+08:00

the past week plus has somewat been a blur for me. exam alrdy came n left, bf who had his hand bandaged has alrdy removed them, fallin ill has been some sort of a habit for me.life has been pretty much uninterestin.(i think loyal readers out there like SOH n NICK would miss my electrifyin rants n always-the-same picture poses huh.) n a bloggers block didnt help much either.

n also becos i haven been takin gd pictures lately. i wont be able to show u a vast array of them like i do most of e time. (aww)

the bf brought grandma n me for taiwan porridge!

the grandma.

here's my very own fren- "taufik" with his "big glup"

us in retro-ish wear.

The musical/play "Little Shop of Horrors" was great with selena tan, pam oei, emma (yong?), lim yu beng n hossen leong. thx to my "taufik" over there, i got to go to tt play for free. cos he know pam oei. the singin, actin, band was fab. But ah. i duno y pple dun dress up to go to VICTORIA THEATRE la.. i mean i understand if go market or downstairs buy thing no need dress up la (even thou i would la). BUT VICTORIA THEATRE LEH. wahlao. some pple wear $5 tee shirt n pasar malam pants also dare to go sia! wat onli sia. (oh soh this part is not directed at u k. i know ur tee shirt is $12 dollar one rite.)

anws i met up with the Shiseido marketin director. interview was okie. they re offerin a basic of $1400 plus an add $300 in cash for groomin(this one no cpf). basic is crap. i know. but considerin tt i haven even graduated n i somehow haf a job offer pendin. i think most prob if they give me e job i ll take it. thing is they might wan me to start jan 2nd. but when im back from the states i haf an exams on feb 3rd n another on e 10th. like this die la! they said they ll work something out so we shall see. anws i may not bag tt job la. they haf few others shortlisted.

anws i ll be leavin for e states early tml morn! arghh i dun wana leave laaaa. muz email me k pple! juz in case i get lonely! bleah. Alrighty till e next post pple when i ll be in oklahoma!

2006-11-13T21:21:00.000+08:00

my poor bf who sustained partial burns to his hands when the cap of the overheated engine in this craft ship came loose causing hot water to gush out at him. nw ive a big baby to take care off plus juggle my exam w it. wish me luck man.

2006-11-13T11:30:00.000+08:00

to those who doesnt have a clue. i was plannin a surprise 25th bday for the bf at my place. ive roped in his frens n family to be there obviously. n the result?

SURPRISE WENT GREAATTT!! well... almost act.. few cock ups before e party toned down my mood quite a lot. well first his sis(who is e key guest at this surprise) told me last min tt she wont be comin down! n next 4 of his frens who r scheduled to turn out couldn make it cos of various reasons. n the worst!- the sly bf parked his car at where he doesnt usually park n was checkin up pple goin up to my place. then really la! he saw 5 of his frens(who were late!) going up to my place.. arghh. but i guess all in all.. he did really get a shock from few other frens he dint expect at all. so all's gd! =)

check out one of his fren who is in a suit. like surely cos ive nv seen him b4 then he posed as a xmas card salesman n ask me if i would like to buy xmas cards la! i was confused la. n then i did the polite thing n rejected him nicely!! i said, "oh no i dun think so thx". wahlao!! the was on e phone at tt moment n he heard a guy's voice n asked me bout it. i had to lie (for the thousandth time) tt it was my fren.

well enuff tok. here's the pics.

the surprise

the disbelief.

ven- the waitress. cum organizer cum music planner cum everythin basically.

the spread. my grandma cooked up a storm man. ur onli lookin at less than half of the storm.

thou u cant see it. but the bf handin a plate of food to the grams.

tt s not my plate rite there. he made me hold it as he was too overwhelmed to eat la!

ven threatenin to kill e bf w a fork if he tried to help at all.

so he obediently sat out n watched.

bday song time!

wish time.

the entire cast of actors in this surprise. cept my bf of cos.

lovely joyce who took all the pics u saw. great cam skills i muz say darlin.. thx again!

okie this post should last u a whole week huh. while i prepare for my exams. finally!

2006-11-11T13:42:00.000+08:00

spent half the afternoon tryin to prepare a cold dish of choc fondue for the bf n jasmine darlin. erm. pics dun haf.cos i think the after result looks more like something released from the body than somethin meant to be ingested. no more fondue creatin from me in a damnnn long time.

i was late. as usual. but couldn get a cab ma! so jas got herself her nice manicure durin the waiting time. haha. thx to me 4 being late hor. =) oh tt s her neww bagg!

the farkin delicious mushroom crepes and the cheater ceasar salad w no salmon in it!( wahlao i ordered it for the salmon in the menu's pic can!)

SURPRISE IS TMLLLLL.. wheeee....

2006-11-10T00:43:00.000+08:00

its almost 1 in the morn n im damn exhausted after drawin the storyboard for a sch assignmet with my non existent drawing skills.. tt was when i suddenly remembered tt the bf bought me to one of the "china" lanes in geylang. He drove thro that tiny lane packed w horney young and old men and scantily clad girls from china waiting to sell themselves off. wahlao.. some of them act not bad lookin leh.. like not too bad lookin then body also okie kind la..okie la..dunno y im bloggin bout this really..been havin a blogger's block these days..

anws a certain surprise is up for my bf's not actual pre bday party this sun. cant say too much. updates on tt sooonnn..

These 2 months were beyond great. Thank u.

2006-11-06T14:39:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 21th clara darlin! i know u prob are readin this. Hope u had a great surprise at MacDonalds. muacks.

Her bf n her. both kept from e surprise n made to wear ridiculous outfits

she made me wear the hairband!

A wonderful weekend with the bf

nice polo rite! bought by urs truly. =)

Sparklers at the beach

Nite mode on the cam wasnt on. goondu ven.

can dun so tall not ah u!

him n his crazy ass frens tryin to light up the coconut tree

2006-11-03T14:44:00.000+08:00

Oprah did a show on Auschwitz, the largest Nazi German extermination camp in Poland. In it, a survivor of the concentration camp, Elie Wiesel, brough Oprah around the place where he and million other Jews were prisoned, tortured and made to live thro hell.

Auschwitz

I was at tt very camp 3 yrs ago during my tour of central Europe. The images of tt place nv left me since. As the tour bus entered the area, the sky was a picture of dull grey. the air was eerily cold with soft gusts of wind. As we travelled along the houses tt stood alone by the roads, there was no in sight. The surroundin was a dead ringer compared to the other parts of europe we visited, the contrast was stark. "A place where many spirits roam, the weather is always like this, eerily cold." said my tourguide.

wat left me cold were the glass displays tt showed the belongings of the Jewish dead. Huge mounts of shoes tt once belonged to the walking. a giant mountain of hair left behind tt were shaved off the heads off those captured, for industrial purposes. You wouldnt believe the amount of shoe polish and brushes tt once belonged to young men. Spectacles of those who perished cocked up a serving fit for ten thousand giants. imagine the massacre.

wat stil remains embedded as a faded photograph in my mind today is the figurine of a broken doll wearing a once pretty-pink dress. the doll tt once belonged to an innocent smiling face of a young child. A child tt nv had the chance to grow up.

i had the chance to visit one of the actual blocks of the camp where inprisonment took place. bunk beds stacked ags each other, cells where fingernail marks were stil evident on the walls of those in torment. i specifically rem a small cave where the tourguide told us many Jews were made to hunch in.

I wish i had a digital camera then. I wish the disposable camera i had then had not cocked up. I wish the damn salesman who sold me e camera was less stupid. I wish the pictures i snapped at the camp were not destroyed. But somehow the images nv left me. the mind remembers them, clearly. till today.

A book by survivor Elie Wiesel "Night" is a recommanded read. I am goin to get tt book asap.
Mr Wiesel reminds us, to constantly say, "No, we remember."

He wrote:
"Never shall I forget that night, the first night in camp, which has turned my life into one long night, seven times cursed and seven times sealed. Never shall I forget that smoke. Never shall I forget the little faces of the children, whose bodies I saw turned into wreaths of smoke beneath a silent blue sky.
Never shall I forget those flames which consumed my faith forever.
Never shall I forget that nocturnal silence which deprived me, for all eternity, of the desire to live. Never shall I forget those moments which murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to dust. Never shall I forget these things, even if I am condemned to live as long as God Himself. Never."

"Let us remember, let us remember the heroes of Warsaw, the martyrs of Treblinka, the children of Auschwitz. They fought alone, they suffered alone, they lived alone, but they did not die alone, for something in all of us died with them."

2006-11-02T18:34:00.000+08:00

Ellen Degeneres brought up a few questions worth thinking about.

-y can nobody invent a betta tasting cough syrup?
-In order to get someone to keep quiet, y do we use shhh instead of other sounds like "honkhonk"?
-y are patients not allowed to consumed anythin b4 surgery? will pple really die from drinkin a sip of water b4 surgery? isnt it the actual surgery tt is dangerous n could kill us?

In case u dint know who ellen degeneres is, check her out at http://ellen.warnerbros.com

She's someone with charisma and has great rapport with the audience. someone who runs a tok show similar to oprah. i think. but somehow in spore we dun hear her name as much as oprah.

y do some pple pretend to like u when they act really wana murder u? when someone smiles back at u, do u ever feel like they are fakin it? sometimes when someone laughs at ur jokes, does his/her laughter sound plastic?

i dun get it.. if u dislike someone. y bother to hide it? y bother tryin to fake it? does it make u feel betta if u prove tt ur a bettta person by acting nice? wat will u gain from actin agst ur own wishes by being nice to someone u dislike?

grow some balls pls and come str out n tel e person u hate his/her guts instead of actin like a coward and pretendin.

2006-11-01T15:18:00.000+08:00

the obsessive compulsive syndrome.

the need to look for reassurance in the stupidest places.
we blog surf to check out someone else's blog.
someone we feel inferior to.
someone we long to be betta then.
someone who's pictures we constantly stare at in the hope of miraculously becomin betta-lookin then him/her.
someone u know u can nv match up to.
someone tt triumped over you in the game of love.
someone u so badly wana compete with in the hopes of turnin out a winner.
all these for wat?

all because of a stupid mentality tt cant help but compare.
i stil maintain the idea tt we ask for it. most of the time.

2006-10-27T11:17:00.000+08:00

y do girls like to compare themselves to the bf's ex. then end up feelin inferior and shitty.

y do girls always ask to find out wat the bf and his ex did .then get pissed and irritated after tt.

y do girls like to haf pple after them. but when that guy moves on after being rejected. they try to get him to like her back. pls. ur time's over girl.

y do some girls not get it tt when a guy is attached, they should lay their claws off them.

we girls are such bitches at times. we totally ask for it sometimes.

2006-10-24T10:24:00.000+08:00

i scare myself sometimes

im a stranger in my own life

how can i possibly haf e ability to keep someone lovin me by my side?

when i dun even haf e capacity to hav confidence in myself?

maybe im juz afraid tt ur juz like e others

the others who came n took n left

maybe im juz tryin to be difficult juz to test u

to test if u ll stay w me

i dun even understand my behavior sometimes

so im sori if u feel tt u dun understand me too

im tryin.

i really am

to be e best partner to u

but forgive me if i fail at times

n stick w me thro these failures

cos this time i think ive fallen

even thou im tryin hard not to

juz because.

because im scared.

2006-10-22T21:23:00.000+08:00

Men Confess the 10 Annoying Things Women Do

Men love women. The way they look, smell, walk and talk are just some of the reasons why we consider them a divine species. Yet we can't live with them, and we certainly can't live without them...

...for the most part anyway, because perfect, they are not. And upon serious analysis, I've discovered the top 10 things women do that drive men to the brink of insanity.

10. Pretend to be virtuous

A recurring theme among many women is that they try to place themselves under a "holier than thou" light, never admitting that they fooled around or dividing their number of boyfriends by five. Now, we applaud those ladies who truly are innocent and pure, but the rest should stop trying to water down their past. Women are allowed to have just as much fun as guys, and they should find a man who can appreciate that.

9. Criticize other women

Why is it that many women can't make a simple compliment toward another woman? They love to nitpick about everything from weight to hairstyle and everything in between. Only a woman will notice if another woman's shoes don't match her purse and turn it into a calamity.

Granted there are some women who are readily willing to admit when another woman is hot (and hopefully invite her over for a ménage à trois), but most don't want to distract their men with any competition. Nevertheless, we spot the hot ones anyway.

8. Act jealous

Oftentimes, just mentioning another woman's name can spell the end of your existence. Imagine, then, the warfare you'll have to endure if she finds out you were at a gentleman's club.

Call it what you will, but a lot of women have this thing that causes them to second-guess everything, especially their man's loyalty. That's why when another female enters the equation in any way, shape or form, she tenses up. If you've given her reason to doubt you, then her paranoia is likely justified. Otherwise, you shouldn't have to pay the price because she's feeling insecure.

7. Become needy

Some women have some serious security issues. They need their men to hold them, rub them and tell them how special they are. They turn men into their emotional crutch and look to us for moral, mental and emotional support.

There's a real irony here when you think of all the women who go out of their way to show us how independent they are. These are usually the same women who become extremely insecure once they finally fall in love. Of course, as tempting as it may be to use this to our advantage, I think most men would prefer the tougher version. This way, they'd at least retain some peace of mind.

6. Speak in code

The old "What are you thinking?" question is a timeless example of how women love to test their men and search for our true feelings about them. They hurtle obscure, theoretical questions at us that, according to them, we're supposed to know the answers to if we're really their soul mates.

What a pitiful sight it is, seeing a guy tense up as his mind goes into overdrive, looking for the right answer, while his lady looks on from a distance with her arms folded and foot tapping. At this point, there's nothing left to do except throw an answer out there and hope we don't end up in the doghouse.

5. Invade our personal space

Women have this instinctive tic that makes them want to groom us anytime they want and make our personal belongings theirs.

In other words, when they're not adjusting our tie for the umpteenth time, they're rummaging through our drawers, looking for a sweatshirt to change into. Am I the only one who sees a problem here? We all know that there would be hell to pay if we so much as thought about giving them a haircut or sorting through their stuff, so why is it that our turf is fair game?

4. Become too emotional

They cry over anything: a sad movie (or even a happy one), a broken nail or a haircut gone awry. What's worse, they expect us to clean up the emotional mess. And if there's one thing we suck at, it's dealing with a crying woman on our shoulder.

It's not that we're insensitive, but aside from saying, "There there, sweetie," we don't know the first thing about comforting a woman. The fact that women are usually more delicate and vulnerable is great; we just don't want the steady stream of tears for every minor setback.

3. Shop till they drop

When it comes to shopping, there just aren't enough hours in the day for most women. Whether it's browsing, window-shopping or an all-out spending spree, they can spend hours on end in a shoe store, among others, without even thinking about food, water or any of their responsibilities.

But what's worse is that they have to take us along for the ride. So there we go, from store to store, wandering aimlessly back and forth while they inspect every article of clothing by its respective price tag.

2. Talk incessantly

Chris Rock nailed it when he said that asking how her day went renders a 45-minute conversation. Most women love to talk, and if you give them the ammo, they won't stop. It's not that we don't care about what they have to say; it's just that we don't need to hear every minute detail.

1. Use sex as a weapon

In the war of the sexes, it's all about who wears the pants in the relationship. Oftentimes most women, in an effort to show their superiority, will attack men's universal weak spot: sex.

And while I applaud them for this gutsy tactic, they really should leave the basic human needs alone, don't you think?

Learn to Tolerate

In the grand scheme of things, women's annoying habits aren't that bad. Chances are you'll adapt to them in time, as will she when it comes to your annoying tendencies. Nobody's perfect, and I think that's something we can all agree on.

The Skinny on Full Figures

by Patrizia Diluccio

Truth: most men like women with flesh, not just bones. That said, it's hard to stay oblivious to the message that thin is in. It's trumpeted at us from every makeup ad, movie screen and televised awards ceremony, where waif-thin models and actresses cavort for the cameras in backless gowns that show off every vertebra. Are skeletons sexy? Is Halloween Valentine's Day?

Most of the men I know prefer a woman with some meat on her bones. Calista Flockhart? She could use a piece of chicken. What man doesn't find her buxom roommate Renee sexier?

My suggestion: Learn to feel good about yourself. March right down to the local lingerie emporium and buy the slinkiest, silkiest, sassiest teddy, in bright hot scarlet, you can possibly lay your hands on. But remember, it's all about the delivery. He might find your curves attractive, but if you act like he shouldn't -- he'll start to believe you.

So, if you got it -- flaunt it. And candlelight is not cheating.

AND A MAN'S PT OF VIEW

Do men really prefer dating skinny women?

Take it from me -- skinny has got nothing to do with it. In fact, a large part of the allure women hold for men is about the places where they're not skinny. (My favorite example is the pooch. You look down and grimace at it while you work out on the Stairmaster, but all day long your man is thinking about the time when he gets to come home and rest his head on it.)

Men want to date women who are fun and attractive. Attraction, as you well know, is a chemical kind of thing -- it just happens, and good luck avoiding it when it does. And fun, frankly, is an attitude, an ever vigilant determination to find the element of play in any given situation -- certainly something you could cultivate, but not a physical attribute. Best of all, if you and a guy are having fun together, chances are the attraction thing is happening too.

2006-10-20T10:48:00.000+08:00

did u know tt e usage of a student visa for entry into the united states juz means tt as long as u enter US within tt time frame of validity stated on ur student visa, they dun care when u act leave. The consular of American Embassy said so. cos apparently nw u dun need a visa for social visit, which i needed to apply for 10 yrs ago.

anws the bf finally got his new car. im juz glad tt he s happy. its gonna be easier on him from nw. even thou its a red plate.

The sunroof.

This is some letter circulated by email. Its translated from chinese. Touchin to the core. Makes me wana shout. I LOVE U DADDY!

Dear son,


     * The day that you see me old and i am alrdy weak, have patience
     and try to understand me.


     * If I get dirty when eating, if I can not dress, have patience.
     Remember the hours I spent teaching it to you.


     * If, when I speak to you, I repeat the same things thousand and one
     times - do not interrupt me - listen to me.
     When you were small, I had to read to you thousand and one times the
     same story until you get to sleep.


     * When I do not want to have a shower, neither shame me nor scold me.
     Remember when I had to chase you with thousand excuses I invented, in
     order that (to get you) to bathe.


     * When you see my ignorance on new technologies - give me the
     necessary time and not look at me with your mocking smile.
     I taught you how many things - to eat good, to dress well - to
     confront life.


     * When at some moment I lose the memory or the thread of our
     conversation, let me have the necessary time to remember, and if I
     cannot do it, do not become nervous, as the most important thing is
     not my conversation but surely to be with you and to have you
     listening to me.


     * If ever I do not want to eat, do not force me. I know well when I
     need to and when not.


     * When my tired legs do not allow me walk, give me your hand the same
     way I did when you made your first steps.


     * And when someday I say to you that I do not want to live any more,
     that I want to die, do not get angry - some day you will understand.
     Try to understand that my age is not lived but survived.


     * Some day you will discover that, despite my mistakes, I always
     wanted the best thing for you and that I tried to prepare the way for
     you..


     * You must not feel sad, angry ... at seeing me near you. You must be
     next to me, try to understand me and to help me as I did you when you
     started living.


     * Help me to walk, help me to end my way (life) with love and
     patience. I will pay you with a smile and the immense love I have
     always had for you.


     I love you son!
     Your father.

2006-10-17T16:31:00.000+08:00

gettin done a student visa from the American Embassy is a bitch. so many freakin documents to pre process without much help from the damn sch.

y they wana retain ur mp3 player n earpiece at the security check anyways. N ah y the hell do they retain staples as well?!! afraid we might try to staple our way thro the guards into the embassy ah..N Y THE HELL do american citizens get priority n not hafta queue when the rest of us yellow pple gotta come farkin early n queue in a blardy humid tent like blardy illegal immigrants ah?! juz because the place is called AMERICAN embassy!?! racists!

im sure it has become a common sight where american men haf not-so-stunning yellow skinned women on their arms. yes there may be exceptions but today all ive seen are fark ugly women w okie lookin angmores. A famous taiwanese compere once thanked these angmores for rid-din their cty of women tt werent so much a hot commodity with the locals.

my bf s gonna kill me for this photo. but i HAD to share ma hor.. my lovely with an oatmeal n avocado face mask on!

and the usual narcissistic ven pics.

2006-10-13T19:03:00.000+08:00

Friendship is a two-way traffic. it takes two hands to clap. two to tango. u get it. it fails if one party is constantly tryin to build tt bridge of human relationship n the other doesnt reciprocate. If ur that "fren" where ive been constantly doin tt buildin. shame on u. u dun deserve my frenship.

on a totally unrelated note. are u aware tt condoms are lubricated? how come nobody enlightened me on tt huh?

2006-10-11T13:32:00.000+08:00

As a significance of our one-month of togetherness, the bf brought me to hav taiwan porridge on the river (wat river u ask. pardon ven the road dummy-i hav no idea. its near national stadium, near cosy bay, near tanjong rhu). The darlin managed to keep the secret plan from the nite before til he finally blabbed it out while drivin there. haha.

My bf said its time for me to cut my hair cos my head is nw "egg-shaped". wtf does EGG SHAPED mean la!?! he said its smaller at the top n bigger at the bottom. wahliao. ITS THE BLARDY WAY I TIE MY HAIR LA GOONDU plus u so tall surely from the top look down then EGG SHAPE LA!@$#*&#. n yes la..plus i got baby fat cursed cheeks la!

Post prim up cum pre waitin jitters

From left clockwise- deer meat, salted veg w pork, cockles, century egg w tofu n sotong balls!!

him n his foreva-the-same hand sign

ven on some bridge near cosy bay
cheap shot by e bf who tried to snap me while i was walkin..lucky as most may know, ven is foreva cam ready la!
a gorgeous knitted scarf he got for my US trip n a fluffy soft stuffed dog!
oo let me know the name of the taiwan porridge place n tt bridge if u know!

2006-10-09T16:48:00.000+08:00

somehow its like ive become seemingly dependent on pictures here. maybe its becos i dun think so much anymore. or maybe its becos i dun wana think too much. or maybe its becos no words can paint a more gorgeous image then the picture itself. BAH. wat m i ramblin bout. here's more pics.

Milo dinosaur he made!

and here a really random one from sometime back.

2006-10-06T22:06:00.000+08:00

His bashful look.

"Ding Tai Fung" (Chinese restaurant. spellin cant rem.) with the bf. Damn ex like sai la..two person, 70 plus bucks. wahliao!

Ven posin w THE watch.

The shirt i got for him! good taste rite!
Hmmm..

2006-10-01T22:57:00.000+08:00

a picture speaks a thousand words. here's two thousand for u.

2006-09-30T20:15:00.000+08:00

im 21. n i nv had a decent watch. ever. the bf surprised me w a fossil one today. oo all the love!

2006-09-28T19:47:00.001+08:00

to the sick perverted bastard who nudged my thighs with his knees, grazed my hair, changed seats constantly to get closer to me, put his arm ard me touch my arm. i say. fark u. i hope ur penis rots SLOWLY n falls off.

on a lighter note. here are pics of me n the bf.as promised. issue not settled. i think some confrontation is gonna come up. but its unavoidable anws.
ps:he thinks he looks betta in person. he does actually.

my fav dimple in the whole world! (yes onli on ONE side)

2006-09-25T11:36:00.000+08:00

router connected to uncle's main com is down. therefore no internet access from my laptop. crap.

Sunday morn. the boyfren brought me to Macritchie for a hike up to the treetop. nearly killed me. wahliao i think i lost like 5 kg la. but was a great bonding period for us.
pictures of me and the boyfren will be up when certain issues are settled. i promise.

anws. HAPPY 21th nik darlin!! hope u had a great one n u loved ur new wardrobe! n juz for YOU nik. "here are some narcissistic pics from ur bday! "

2006-09-20T11:28:00.000+08:00

nothin interestin, nothin much.

juz the constant naggin voice of me not comparin up to his past likes-body wise.

i know i should be confident.

im tryin.

i really am.

a gd dinner with the boyfren.

juz being ven.

2006-09-17T14:08:00.000+08:00

The final goodbye

busted.
u were.
nw.
u.
alone.
me.
not.
til nw.
i.
still feel.
the.
insincerity.
goodbye.

2006-09-15T09:54:00.000+08:00

the final countdown.

but first. a lousy start to a supposedly "break-free" day.

onli pair of black contacts tore. hadda put on my brown pair. somehow both eyes became damn irritated n super red.

sat on my dressin table chair while waiting for dad. felt a gush of liquids thro my pipes (pardon my crude-ness) ,stained my blardy skirt.

nw im wary if anythin w happen when i go to suntec later to send stuff.

anws. all tt aside. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWN to gettin outta this placeeee! whee.

2006-09-13T09:36:00.000+08:00

2 more days to gettin outta this hellhole. i understand tt as an intern u get to do stuff tt levels those of wat workers at construction sites do. I am not complainin tt they keep askin me to deliver items and do anal stuff, however, when tt task at hand becomes physically impossible, its pisses the phuck outta me. yes, interns do all the"saikang", but when those "saikang" demands becomes too much physically, its crap.

juz yesterday i had to send SIX bags of bulky as hell stupid barbie dolls to SIX seperate places. along with luggin them along, i had to struggle with my bag, the money for the cab, and the list of addresses. imagine the phuckin clown i had transformed into. I abso-fuckin-lutely refused to come up w my own money to pay for the cab fare cause they last time i did, i haven gotten my money back, yet.

yes today the task for superven inceases. this time. 10 places or more. haven seen the stuff tt im supposed to send yet. lets hope its not as blardy bulky n tt the boyfren will be able to accompany his deliveryman girlfren.

oo i juz got 3 ticks from CLEO to the movie "u me and dupree". but its on today, so last min. argh!

in times of need, u really find out who ur true frens really are.

People juz dun cherish wat they have til its gone.

2006-09-10T10:07:00.000+08:00

the neat-est state my bed has ever been in. an artwork by him. =)

ps: i almost wanted to refer to him as "the boy", but rem readin somewhere, i think in dee's LJ tt girls always use tt term plus he's not a boy anymore. couldn find anythin fancier and the "love" is too strong a word. so "him" it is. for nw.

more random narcissistic pics. enjoy.

happy bday darlin!

ven- ever ready for the cam.